Lately, I’ve been working hard to get my ass to jiggle a little less. And, you know, to avoid a heart attack or something. For the first time in my life I’ve actually enjoyed going to the gym. Until yesterday, when I face-planted mid sprint on a treadmill in front of fifty complete strangers.
Have any of y’all ever been to Planet Fitness where they have the “lunk alarm?” If you have no idea what I’m talking about — it’s an alarm the staff sounds off if there is a tool grunting loudly or dropping the free weights.
I was deep in the zone when the alarm sounded and, to be frank, it scared the shit out of me. It was the first time I’ve ever heard it so I spastically looked around to make sure there wasn’t an armed gunman. (This is America, after all. Gotta check for those things.) While in the process of sprinting & looking around, I lost my balance and fell face first onto the treadmill. The pain wasn’t the worst of it. I hit the woman next to me on the way down. Bit part of my lip causing it to swell twice its size almost instantly. Smashed my phone. And, to top it off, my shirt rode all the way up to my armpits. To a woman who’s new to the gym scene and trying to change her body… it was beyond mortifying.
I’ve started my day out today searching online for treadmill prices so I can run at home. Some of us shouldn’t be allowed to mix with the general population. For their safety and our own.
Do you have any embarrassing workout stories? Misery loves company!