the feeling is mutual, Halloween

I’ve never been a big fan of Halloween. I’m pretty sure I’m flying solo on that feeling, considering everyone I know on Facebook has currently stuffed themselves into a costume that barely fits and leaves little to the imagination. (Really… some things are better left unseen, people. Don’t go in public and let your bits and pieces flop around in the breeze.)

But, this year I decided I would give Halloween a chance. I got the candy to hand out. I got the pumpkins to carve for the first time ever. And, damn… after a few hours of fishing pumpkin guts out and carving with Alex — I was proud when I set them outside.

Then, I checked on them a few days later. On top of the pumpkins being completely moldy (that’s not snow)… half of the candy is gone already, too.


I tried to give you a chance, Halloween… but all you’ve done so far is leave me sad and fat. I guess I should just hide inside with the lights off, peering over the flashlight like a crazy person again this year.

(Really, though… I can’t be the only one who doesn’t like Halloween… or am I truly that much of an oddball?)

Also, a note to cat owners: please, please, please make sure your black cats (or any outdoor cats) are brought inside. There are some sick assholes out there.

67 thoughts on “the feeling is mutual, Halloween

  1. nomaggsrush says:

    You are right to forego Hallowe’en – Guy Fawkes night/Bonfire night – that’s the one. November 5th.

    Remember, remember the fifth of November,
    Gunpowder treason and plot.
    We see no reason
    Why gunpowder treason
    Should ever be forgot!

    Guy Fawkes, guy, t’was his intent
    To blow up king and parliament.
    Three score barrels were laid below
    To prove old England’s overthrow.

    By god’s mercy he was catch’d
    With a darkened lantern and burning match.
    So, holler boys, holler boys, Let the bells ring.
    Holler boys, holler boys, God save the king.

    And what shall we do with him?
    Burn him!

    Bonfires and fireworks – much more fun than mouldy pumpkins! – first celebrated in 1605.

  2. Julie Holmes, author says:

    I’m with you. I’m not a fan; I even make my hubby, who is a fan of the holiday, take my daughter and her friends trick or treating. We live a mile out of town so we never have to worry about handing out candy. I do, however, like to carve pumpkins, but I’ve never had one go bad that fast! Or with such spectacular mold on it. Usually it takes a week or more to get good and moldy.

    • Blair says:

      You’re lucky, I wish we lived further out, then I wouldn’t have to be camped out and in hiding. In full disclosure — it did endure a bit of rain for one day. I’m sure that sped the mold process up quite a bit 🙂

  3. Fraxi says:

    See, I like halloween as an excuse to watch a load of horror movies and eat cheap junk food.

    That mouldy pumpkin is impressive. I would carve one myself this year but I have fears that one of my kittens will either: a) try to eat it, b) get into a fight with it and push it off the side, c) burn himself on the candle… (he isn’t very bright)

    • Blair says:

      If my cat went outdoors I could see her doing all of those things, too haha. I’m a candle lover, but have resulted in those plug-in air fresheners because I’m afraid she will singe her fur off lol

    • Blair says:

      There were actually bugs crawling out of the eyes. I think they set up camp inside. I was so mortified, I ran away screaming before I could get a picture.

      • Midwestern Plant Girl says:

        Insects climbing out of eyes?!? You’ve got the scariest pumpkin ever! Great job! Ha ha ha!

  4. Nicole says:

    Ha! I’ve been planning for weeks how I’m going to hide out in the house with no lights and headphones in so I can’t hear if they knock, lol! I just dead it. Halloween scrooge here and I’m ok with it.

  5. jennygorman says:

    I like Halloween, though my husband doesn’t. Last year I tried carving a pumpkin, and mine ended up like yours. It’s sad. I live in south Texas, and apparently, you just can’t leave a pumpkin out for long down here. They’ll mold and wither and die. So I bought a plastic pumpkin that I can plug in and it lights up. It looks good and lasts longer. However, it doesn’t give me pumpkin seeds that I can cook and eat for snacks. Oh well. By the way, I love your sense of humor and your blog. Keep writing, and thanks for following my blog.

  6. peekintomylife085 says:

    We carved our pumpkin super early too cause we were excited to see our daughter’s reaction, now it looks very depressed! I’m not a big fan of Halloween either.

  7. whatsandrathinks says:

    I live not far from Salem, Mass…. Halloween central. Zillions of people spend half of October there. It’s crazy! I enjoyed Halloween as a child and even up through my college years (good parties). But now, it’s kind of lost something. I usually take the kids trick-or-treating, but sometimes I send my husband and stay home in complete darkness so I don’t have to answer the door. And I never buy candy (unless it’s a kind I hate) because it is a huge weakness for me. (Cannot have peanut butter cups in house!) Plus, our neighborhood is very popular for the kids — mine come home with enough candy to last at least until Christmas!

    • Blair says:

      Wow, that’s a lot of candy. If I lived near Salem, I’d probably enjoy Halloween a little more. I’m sure they’ve got some amazing attractions there. And, that’s where I went wrong… I bought peanut butter cups. They are definitely my weakness. I can’t have one in sight without wanting to shove them all in my face. .mmm

  8. Krystle Lea says:

    I’m right there with you! Tonight is going to be stormy so I’m more interested in turning off the lights and watching a scary movie or two.

  9. fithotbod says:

    I have NEVER seen mold on a pumpkin like that before! What DID you do to it?? I’m trying to get all in shape and healthy. No Halloween candy here. So I’m bummed. Bah, humbug, Halloween! There! I just took care of two holidays in one fell swoop. Haha! LMAO!

    • Blair says:

      It ended up sitting in the rain for a little bit one day, which made the mold go a bit crazy. It was my first carving experience, so I had no idea! And, I’m trying to get in shape and healthy, too.. totally shouldn’t have purchased the damn candy! Good luck 🙂

      • fithotbod says:

        LOL! That picture was just so funny! I loved it so much, I cross posted your pumpkin fail on my FB page. And yeah, I went grocery shopping this morning after water aerobics. I was starving, unfortunately, so I was dying to buy pumpkin pie, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin WHATEVER. I settled for a Chobani Pumpkin Spice Greek Yogurt. 😟

      • Blair says:

        Thanks for the crosspost 🙂 And we are 100% on the same page. I bought that same yogurt a few days ago as a treat lol! It was worth it. Mmmm

    • Blair says:

      lol! What?! I’ve never heard that… I gotta get to Googlin’. (Wouldn’t be totally surprised… given all the slutty costumes and stuff) Love that random fact.

      • tpesce2015 says:

        Love the wolf gazing at the suspended moon! Listen… when I was little, on our block there was one person who didn’t participate in Halloween. One darkened house. You don’t sound like a darkened house to me, you sound sweet and thoughtful and lively. So leave a light on for the children of your world, hand them candy and coo over their costumes and call it good. Think of it this way – all you’re doing is opening your door to someone else’s Halloween – a participating non-participant. Or not… we all love you just the way you are!!

      • Blair says:

        Although I hate Halloween, I LOVE kids. I was lucky to spend part of my day with two of my nieces (a very cute witch and teddy bear. ) My husband is a Halloween fan, so he decorated, lit candles, and handed out the candy until we ran out. I don’t want to be that ONE house… even if I’m not quite participating, lol.

  10. Richard P. says:

    Main reason I read the whole article and 90 some percent of the comments: the pumpkin with mold was carved out of mushroomhead’s logo. Gotta admit, I’m not totally surprised with the mold and bugs crawling out of that one, haha. I did enjoy the article though.

    • Blair says:

      You’re the first person that has noticed it, lol. My husband is a huge fan. He had the logo planned to carve days before we even got our pumpkins. Thanks for reading 🙂

      • Richard P. says:

        I’m also a huge fan of most of their albums (save two, which were either just not to my taste or just didn’t feel right). That’s awesome of your husband to plan that one. Shame I didn’t think of it myself.

  11. kinneret says:

    Wow! I never saw mold on a jack o lantern like that before. We once though put out carved pumpkins before Halloween and the suburban wildlife creatures ravished them. I like Halloween but it’s not popular with my friends. (We’re Jewish but the observant kind). Some of them seem to dislike Halloween because after all it’s Saturnalia, a pagan holiday. On the other hand, at my former office, the employees were such ardent Halloween fans they made scathing remarks about Christians who eschewed it. My husband hates Halloween because he grew up in Brooklyn in the 1970s (a horrorific time to be in Brooklyn or NYC in general) and every year he got beaten up on Halloween by thugs and also had his candy taken away. It was so bad they were not allowed to go to school on Halloween. It was too dangerous. We have this compromise. I give out candy with my 6 year old who dresses up. Halloween feels messed up. When we were growing up, we weren’t so aware of all the serial killers and pedophiles as we are today and kids were not allergic to every other thing or pre-diabetic. Next year I’m going to pass out non-candy items like masks.

    • Blair says:

      Wow, your husband has a past like they show in the movies. It’s pretty ridiculous — being beaten up for candy. And I agree: the whole holiday feels messed up. Yesterday morning my husband and I were walking a trail (that we always walk) and there was barely anyone else around. And I remember thinking ‘it’s a good thing I’m not walking alone today… it’s Halloween.’ Which is a totally absurd thought to have as an adult. But, we are so much more aware of the crazies out there. If I had children, I’d probably have an irrational fear of their impending doom if/when they go out. I like the compromise you guys came up with. I could see us mirroring it some day.

      • kinneret says:

        Yes, on the one hand, I feel like that in the last 20 years the media has really publicized and sensationalized cases (e.g. the Polly mormon abduction case, other child abduction cases) that statistically should be irrelevant to us– like one in a million, much more likely to get hit by a bus. On the other hand, freakish things have happened in my own life, for example, a high school acquaintance I did plays with who killed his GF then blew his own brains out, a family friend I looked up to and thought of as an “uncle” who was convicted later for 30 years of child molestation (not me), and if all that isn’t enough, the fact that I came face to face with a serial killer (before he was caught) in Montgomery County, Maryland (a fact which really freaks me out and is in my novel even though that is a combo of fiction and nonfiction). So it’s hard to know, do you give your kids freedom, how much, if you don’t you are harming them but if you do they can be at risk. I can tell you that I NEVER walked alone anywhere when I was younger say college, 20s, etc. and that in one forested area near me was where the girl got abducted and tied to the tree (the one with the senator–her name was Chandra Levy), and another woods near me had a girl killed who went running there and was left with weird ritual sacrifice stuff around her (this in the Bronx, NY). 5.6 miles from where we lived. You can only have so much of this stuff happening in a proximity to you before you feel like there is shit out there all around you so I don’t blame you for shuddering when you went out for a walk. I’m still unsure of whether to let my 12 year old daughter go out alone. Not yet.

      • kinneret says:

        and that story from my husband…it’s totally the truth! He is not the type to exaggerate at all, in fact, whenever I’m gloomy he’ll be optimistic and pragmatic but he went to school and was near an area that was pretty dangerous.

      • Blair says:

        I believe a lot of it is sensationalized, too. But, at the same time… a couple of the terrible things you listed happening in your life has also happened in mine. Child molesters as neighbors. There were multiple suicides in a specific area of forest in my small town growing up. From hangings to gun shots. And more. Now, I’ve never come face-to-face with a serial killer… that is scary as hell. What worries me is I’ve always lived in small towns (until right now) so the likelihood I’ve come across some of these things should be smaller. But I’ve still known many of them. I’m a pretty paranoid person, hopefully when my future kids come along I’ll be able to relax a bit more like my husband.

  12. annabellefranklinauthor says:

    I like the spookiness of Halloween – I just love ghosts! – but I’m not so keen on the fireworks. It’s hard to sleep with two shivering hounds on the bed.
    Thanks for following me and the hounds. You’ve got a great sense of humour and we look forward to more of your posts. 🙂
    BTW, that’s the scariest pumpkin I’ve ever seen.

  13. gregbeau says:

    I have never liked Halloween, even when I was a little kid of 7 or 8. I never liked horror movies either so maybe that has something to do with it. The best times were when I had apartments in large buildings so you didn’t need to bother with it. Now that I have a house it is like being held hostage one night a year. I either go out or watch TV in the basement for a few hours and ignore it. It’s hard to believe that, if anything, it is getting even a higher profile than previously. If it had never been done previously and you proposed this custom – little kids going out in costumes after dark and knocking on the doors of strangers in search of candy – you would probably be locked up.

    • Blair says:

      Being held hostage seems about right, lol. I hid in my basement this year… it’s terrible feeling like a prisoner in your own home. Ah, the apartment days… those were good times.

  14. jlouisemac says:

    Ha, I totally thought that was snow. At least you gave Halloween a chance. I remember absentmindedly looking at my husband at 8pm when the doorbell rang and saying “Oh, it’s Halloween…should we have bought candy?”

  15. finesseh says:

    Don’t worry, you’re not alone. I’m only in it for the movies. I sat alone in the dark watching movies, hoping the screams from the TV would be loud enough to ward off anyone that may have tried to ignore the lights being off and sign that read “sorry no treats”. lol.

  16. says:

    Oh gawd, you need to install LIKE buttons on your blog. I laffed out loud at you finding bugs in the moldy pumpkin and running away screaming. Definitely woulda “liked” that ‘un.

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