snickers for everybody!

Anyone else have an unhealthy relationship with Target? I’m a bit obsessed. I could spend hours walking up and down the aisles, sipping my overpriced Starbucks, and staring at all the bathroom decorations and trying to decide if it’s a good time to redecorate or not. The other day, Alex called me to make sure I was still alive and wondering if he should send a search party because I had been MIA for too long. It’s hard not to get consumed in there. I love it. I really do… but the employees hate me.


Target Cashier: Hi, how are you today? Did you find everything alright?

Me: I’m good, thanks. I found everything I needed. I’m just trying to convince myself to not get a Snickers. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort. I definitely don’t need one. You know what I’m saying?

Target Cashier: *awkward smile* Do you want to sign up for our RedCard today?

Me: No, thanks….. You know, I’m going for the it. Why not? I worked out today. Ate a salad for lunch. Plus… it’s Christmas. I wouldn’t be an American if I didn’t gain weight over the holidays. So, I’m doing it. The decision is made. I’m about to kill this almond one. It’s only $1 anyways, right? That’s nothing. It’s totally worth it. Ring her up, kind lady.

Target Cashier: Okay. Do you want to donate $1 to end local child hunger?

Me: ….

Target Cashier: ….

Me: Why’d you have to make this awkward, Julie?

96 thoughts on “snickers for everybody!

  1. fattymccupcakes says:

    HAHA oops! On the RedCard, you HAVE to do it!! You save EVERY time you go! You basically could get a FREE Snickers every time you go to Target. Win-win. Can you tell I, too, have an unhealthy relationship with Target?! I am almost the Yelp Duchess and this is after far too many check-ins to admit.

  2. Marissa Bergen says:

    Ha! I have the same problem. It’s like really don’t want to spend $15 (or whatever I’m spending) and then they ask for a donation and it’s $16. But you’re not alone. A lot of people don’t want to be put on the spot like that…although I’m not sure if those are the same people having anxiety over a Snicker bar.

  3. Kate Crimmins says:

    I’ve gotten so used to saying no I can do it to a girl scout with cookies without blinking an eye. Yes, you got to get the redcard. I buy my cat supplies there and not only get the 5% discount but I go when they have the buy 2 get a $5 gift card free special. That pays for the SB drink which of course you have to have.

  4. George says:

    There should never be a discussion in your mind over if you should get a snickers. You just lay down your money and enjoy the party that will then take place in your mouth. End of discussion…:)

  5. Dr Meg Sorick says:

    Love it! Target is like a black hole and I am the object that has crossed the event horizon! I’m glad you posted this and your commenters responded because I’ve been resisting the red card too! Doh!

  6. icelandpenny says:

    Ohhhh, Target. They came roaring into Canada, but snuck back out again within a couple of years. Seems we didn’t get sufficiently addicted, or something! Loved the image of you confusing the teller with your Snickers issue…

  7. mysecretme75 says:

    Oh my word! Target OWNS me! On a shopping trip there with some girlfriends this past weekend we joked that Target has a secret mind reading machine that scans your brain as you enter their doors each time. You recently decided to decorate with copper accents? They take the data, analyze it, and next time you’re there voila! Copper, copper, everywhere copper. Of course it’s also possible they subliminally control us by subtly introducing new accents, getting our eye used to the new color palette or texture then after a few weeks swoop in for the kill with full on explosions of that color or texture. It’s so subtly done that you think it’s your own idea and are wowed at how you’re just ahead of the trend. New pillows, new rugs, new throws, salt & pepper shakers, napkins, paper plates (What?! Plaid napkins, plates & disposable coffee cups! Shut up and take my money now!). As if meeting my current trend needs before I even know I need them, they also serve Starbucks, and they are just classy enough that I can browse the aisles, sipping my latte, and not see a single ass crack or grown woman in pajamas and slippers.

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      Haha, I 100% get what you mean about Target reading minds. It’s scary, really. They always seem to have a sale on exactly what I want. It’s fishy. That’s the plus of shopping at Target over Walmart. Sure, you may pay a little more, but you get to avoid the slipper-wearing crazies haha

  8. amanda (Just in Queso) says:

    This article makes me so happy. I went to Target on Saturday in search of a dress for New Year’s, and left with: black leggings, 2 pairs of fuzzy socks, 2 books, a movie, and a pack of gum – but no dress. The struggle is real!

  9. evilsquirrel13 says:

    OMG! You mean Tar-zhay’s still in business!?!? 😉

    I’ve worked at the slipper wearing crazies store for almost two decades now, so I’m a little biased. Plus, apparently my town is too low class to attract the bullseye store…

  10. Miriam says:

    How funny, I was just in Target today, wandering aimlessly up and down the aisles. No snickers for me today! Or Mars Bars. And I didn’t donate to charity. And as for the Red Card, I don’t think we have that down under! Or if we have I’m behind the times.

  11. 2ndhalfolife says:

    I don’t have credit cards….but ended up with a Target CC a Christmas long ago as my kids and I stood at the check out line with about $500 of all our Xmas presents (I no longer spend like this) and my debit card didn’t work. I was shocked because I had just put in plenty of money to my account! Turned out someone stole my number etc! So it was either forget all our shopping OR….sign up for a card. You know the rest of the story……

  12. M.Winter says:

    I have yet to say yes to the card. It is my favorite store that I went to work with them for a week then decided it was more fun to shop than work there. It was sad to know my discount privileges been taken away.

  13. spartacus2030 says:

    I just love reading you! I always bust a gut, gauranteed! Yes the temptation to cram every sweet thing in the store, into your mouth, is practically irresistable! What a HA HA!! And it’s true! They put all the sweet stuff right there at the cash register… Just when you thought you might make a clean getaway! Thanks for the chuckle!!

  14. spartacus2030 says:

    I don’t remember if I told you I nominated you for the: ‘Dragon’s Loyalty Award’… Anyway, I have, and I need a post… This is as good as any…

  15. fireandthefrostbitten says:

    It appears that Fatty McCupcakes works for Target… she totally made me want to go get a target card.
    Hey this was funny. I liked how your mind was only on the Snickers bar until she used your words against you…
    Thanks for following my blog. I am about to go check out some of your other post.

  16. Barefoot Writer says:

    Hahahaha! Had to read to my husband…(over a screaming baby). Some people aren’t too quick on the uptake, huh?
    And, I think I’ve yet to enter a Target…I’m afraid of what I’ll become…

  17. jennifer0906 says:

    I love Target. bad for my budget and worse for me since I have a 19yo daughter who equally loves to wander through the store. I am not even trying to control my Target urges! and I have so many targets all around me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. polianthus says:

    Made me laugh – i can spend hours walking up and down the aisles too 🙂 – poor julie the cashier – thx for following my blog I welcome you as a stalker ….:) stalking right back.. poli

  19. thesnarkyblonde says:

    Haha, btw love the little drawings on your page…you got a new follower…your blogs make me smile and giggle….~!!

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