you’re a stalker

I’m a failure at social media. Absolutely rotten at it. I used to try to get into it, but, after a few years — I simply didn’t give a crap anymore. I think the problem is I don’t understand it. I couldn’t help but feel like I was doing a disservice to everyone by boring them to tears over the contents of my everyday life. Since I’m sparing y’all from that, I’m just going to say: you’re welcome. Oddly enough, I do enjoy reading people’s posts about their lives. Which doesn’t make me a stalker at all. Right? Right?! Hell… we’re all a bunch of goddamned stalkers. All of us. Such creeps. 

I’ve never  posted anything for Flashback Friday. (I hope that’s a thing. I’m not 100%, but I’m going with it.) I assume FF was made up for the slackers who forgot Throwback Thursday and still want a reason to throw up their old photos of peace signs, perked up duck lips, and awkward selfies. So, let’s get to it…

Here I am. Barely 3 years old. A week before Christmas. The very first photo at the start of my embarrassing addiction. To slippers.3yroldblair

Yep, I love slippers and I’ve received them a week before Christmas for the last 26 years straight. Gotta embrace traditions, you know? Do you have something you get every year without fail? Don’t be embarrassed, now…

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104 thoughts on “you’re a stalker

  1. TheLastWord says:

    In my defence, my tales of my past are funny and interesting. Well, they’re interesting to me, or were at one point. I mean they must be, for me to remember them still, no?

    In any case, they’re funny. I think. I mean at least one person said so. Ok, maybe not rip-roaringly funny, but may draw out a smile.

    Ah whatever, we’re just looking for attention. It’s a cry for help, they say, whoever they are. 🙂

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      I like yours! Haha. I mean, I tell stories of things that happened in my life, too. I should have emphasized what I don’t really get is all of the ‘checking into the gym’ ‘this is the restaurant I’m at’ ‘I just farted’ … like the minute-to-minute updates. THAT’S what I think is odd and an overshare. 🙂 Not blog posts lol.

      • TheLastWord says:

        I know exactly what you mean. I don’t read those either. My eyes glaze over at that kind of sharing. I just took the opportunity to sell you some of my memoirs, possibly.. 🙂 I’m sneaky that way!

  2. lisamariagardiner says:

    I like Facebook for connecting with family and friends abroad. What I can’t stand is the inane posts of – “going to have a coffee now” or even worse “really fuming right now” but then they refuse to divulge what they’re “fuming” about 😁

  3. Charlotte Graham says:

    I’m envious of your yearly slipper gift. My stepmother insists on giving everyone — and I do mean everyone, even new boyfriends/girlfriends — underwear for Christmas. And I don’t mean a pack of Hanes, which would only be mildly awkward. I mean a single lacy black number jammed into your stocking. We try to convince her of how inappropriate this is, yet to no avail…

  4. Dr Meg Sorick says:

    Ugh especially Facebook! Look how much better my life is than yours! I actually like Twitter because I can be snarky as well as concise! And #FF on Twitter is actually follow Friday, just in case you’d care to join me! That’s a plea to join me!!

  5. davekingsbury says:

    I’m so creepy, I’ve even started to stalk myself. Been finding my logo in the Likes lists at the bottom of my posts. Either I’m an old codger who doesn’t know what he’s doing or there’s an weird narcissist lurking within … not sure which I’d prefer.

  6. amanda (Just in Queso) says:

    I used to get slippers every year, too! From my grandmother. But they were ALWAYS a size too small. Always. And I was too polite to say anything, so every year I’d open my slippers, pretend to be thrilled, and then wonder what the heck I was going to do with a fifteenth pair of ill-fitting slippers…

  7. blosslyn says:

    Ha Ha I must be one of the fairy grandmothers, I ask my grandchildren what they would like…….I hated having slippers…..I love slippers, but hated them for Christmas, sorry, but I did like the days of the week underwear….someone should bring them back 🙂

  8. Heather says:

    I saw this, just today: “I used to wonder what it would be like to read other people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account and now I’m over it.”
    Not now, because the piano is gone, but when I was a kid (in the 70s) we had a “player piano”. Every Christmas we would all get — among other things — a new roll for the piano in our stocking. Then we’d take turns racing to the piano to pump out our new songs!

      • Heather says:

        Heh … you loaded the rolls (paper scrolls with little square holes in them — like old computer cards) on, then you pumped foot peddles. The scroll wound from one roll onto another and bellows pumped air so that the air moving through the holes on the scroll made the keys work. It worked like a regular piano, too, and we all could play. But somehow, pumping and watching the keys move “by themselves” was always more fun. The words to the songs were printed vertically on the side of the roll. We would have sing-alongs around the piano. You could adjust the speed that the roll turned, so sometimes we’d have fun with that — speeding up or slowing down songs inappropriately. Used to drive my mother crazy. 🙂 Googling will show some great pictures. Ours was brought over from England when my mother’s parents died. My sister out west now has it.

  9. Anand says:

    Hey Stalker! Where are you? I love stalkers. If they weren’t there I would stop blogging. In fact, I love them.

    I understand your sociomedphobia. I too suffer from it. I tried twitter and am now trying Facebook. I really don’t know how to keep those streams interesting. If you get any clues anywhere, do share.

    BTW, those slippers fit you 😀

  10. dunnasead.co says:

    If someone blogs personal things and you read them, you’re a reader.
    If you invade someone’s account and search for and make pubic private letters to others you’re a stalker.
    If you do it while on facebook, you’re a troll.
    If you go on facebook, you’re and idiot (not you personally, Blair)
    If you have more than one picture of someone’s breakfast, you know you have been on facebook too long.
    Ps enjoy the slipper thing. I got slippers as a special sign of my dad’s love every year since my bbirth. Since he passed over, I keep his last pair in the closet and take them out occasionally to remind me how much he loved me (especially when the rest of the world sometimes doesn’t.
    Merry Christmas.

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      Lol people enjoy posting their breakfasts a bit much. That’s a great story about your father, and so so sweet. It’s a great memory. My grandmother started the slippers with me, then my mom took over, then when I got married my husband. But, it will always remind me of my grandma. Thanks for sharing your story 🙂

  11. Glynis Jolly says:

    I know I’m not a stalker. Like you, I just can’t get into the social media thing. I do have my blog set up so that my posts get known at three of them. I do ‘follow’ others at these sites, if you can call it that. When someone comments on a post at one of the social media sites, I dutifully reply and then go see what’s at their accounts there. Sometimes I leave a comment and sometimes I don’t.

    I love slippers too. Unless I’m going somewhere outside, I’m wearing slippers. 😉

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      Yesss, one more added to the slipper club lol. I have my blog go to social media too. But, I don’t post anything personal there. I think it’s different if you have social media for a blog/celebrity/website, but the personal ones are the ones that weird me out lol 🙂

  12. Midwestern Plant Girl says:

    I’m scared of social media.. I am sooooo not social! 😉 I love the safety of WP. Although I do connect to twitter and fb to post my blog, I never log on to them. Many friends have said when I complain of the short notice of plans… “it’s been posted to fb for weeks..”
    What has happened to direct contact? I do text and email and I’m pretty sure my phone DOES accept incoming calls.
    I will actually be severing my fb connection, as fb has recently changed its policy towards copyrights. As I don’t really write a ‘personal blog’ my content can be used. .. and even possible made money from. .. ha ha, although I’ve not figured out a way!
    BTW – love the slipper obsession. I love mine also and usually get an annual pair for xmas.

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      Oh jeez, I hate that too. “Well, it was on Facebook.. how did you not know?” Last year I didn’t even receive a proper invitation to my cousins wedding. I got the invite on Facebook. I was shocked lol. I didn’t know that about the copyright… hmm. I’m going to have to look

    • Glynis Jolly says:

      Bravo! Yes, what has happened to direct contact? If you’re old enough, you’ll remember visiting relatives during the holiday season if they lived close. Now it’s done on Skype — sometimes. Sure, it’s kind of like the phone, but it doesn’t seem quite real to me.

      • Midwestern Plant Girl says:

        Yes, I was a ‘cell-less child’, if we wanted to see a friend, we had to walk/ride our bikes to their house to see if they were home to play.
        I am OK with any form of “direct contact” now. I get it… fb is here (for now.. remember my space?), but instead of a mass broadcast of future plans, if I could just get a personal invite text, I’d be ecstatic!

  13. April says:

    We always got a new pair of pjs on Christmas Eve. I passed the tradition onto my kids until it became apparent that my boys sleep in their underwear and don’t appreciate the pjs. They do get a calendar for the new year, though. I’ve seen them hanging in their places so I know I made a good choice. 🙂

  14. usabaker says:

    I hardly do anything in FB. Although my running APP on my phone thinks its cool to update my status for me every time I run LOL . So i’m there and not there at the same time.

  15. chattykerry says:

    I tried Facebook but failed miserably. Long words are not in favor, nor grammar, nor sense. You did look extremely cute with your slippers. I always get chocolate (hopefully See’s).

  16. spartacus2030 says:

    Yes… Every year I get a lot of bathroom stuff, cuz people are trying to tell me I stink! What’s really strange, is that we all pick out what we want before Christmas, so I wonder why we wait, or even bother to wrap it. There’s lots of people to get for, so my other half and I have put off buying for each other, until we recover from Christmas. And I think that’s a spendid idea!

  17. evilsquirrel13 says:

    I didn’t understand the allure of those social media sites (The real ones… with their stupid one letter icons on every fricking thing you come across these days) when they first started becoming popular, and I still don’t understand their appeal now. Never done it, never will!

  18. momtheobscure says:

    I used to get myself and my husband slippers every year too! Slippers and gloves invade the stores this time of year and then slip away after the holidays to wherever they go. I didn’t do it this year for some reason.
    I hate to admit that I am addicted to facebook. I keep trying to wean myself off, but I can’t. I’m guilty of sharing every random thought that pops into my head! Don’t hate on me.

  19. gigglingfattie says:

    Every year without fail I get something knitted by my mom. It’s usually a new pair of mittens to match my new scarf/coat combo for the year. Last year it was a sweater though! A full on, sweater! I love it – so freaking warm! It’s the first one she’s made me since I was maybe like 10

  20. Joseph Nebus says:

    Aw, looks nice.

    I don’t really have any annual traditions, things we just must do. I mean, there’s overeating but that hardly counts as a tradition since we’ll do that for less memorable events like “Thursdays”.

  21. 2ndhalfolife says:

    Love it! You are adorable in your slippers and I’m glad to hear you feel the same way about social media. Ugh. Gave it up years ago. Rather spend my time on these wonderful blogs (and mine). At least I meet CREATIVE people even if I do hear about their slippers…ha ha. 🙂

  22. Little Voice says:

    Yep, a certain kind of house shoes were the annual favorite, along with a red corduroy shirt. We could count on those basics under the tree, year to year to year. And I miss getting them. The house shoes (called slippers today) had fur around the opening for your feet, and had small beads sewn on the toe area. Loved that tradition.

  23. patinkingsheath says:

    From infancy to our mid teenage years my brother and I received a pair of hand knitted gloves every year for Christmas from a kindly aunt. Being self-centred brats, as most children are, we didn’t appreciate them. One Boxing day when our parents were out, we composed an ironic thank-you letter outlining the unbearable suspense we suffered every Christmas eve, wondering what our present would be, describing the excitement we felt guessing which shade of grey or navy blue this year’s gloves might be, and so on and so on. We ended the missive ‘much glove, Pat and John.’

    We never intended to send the letter, of course, but thought that we were so smart we showed it to our parents. Our mother, who always had a wicked sense of humour, thought the letter naughty but funny. Our father, however, was not amused and lectured us severely for being such insensitive ingrates!

    BTW I love Heather’s beautiful kitties!

    patinkingsheath

  24. Mala Burt says:

    I loved this. I just don’t want to make the time for social media. Mostly I don’t care what other people are doing. But what I really loved is that you are young and hate social media. I always thought my attitude was because I’m way past middle age.

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