Fun Fact: Witzelsucht is a rare disease characterized by someone who can’t stop making puns, saying inappropriate jokes, or telling pointless stories when it’s socially unacceptable.
Well… I’m feeling pretty validated right now because I finally have an answer for all the times I couldn’t help but tell an inappropriate story in a room full of strangers, only to be met with eyes of glaring judgment. Or share some terribly cliche puns about farting at the ripe age of 29. From now on, every time someone questions my sense of humor, calls me tasteless, or points out that I’m unladylike… I’m going to refer them to this post.
So, guys… I have a condition. (Thanks for pointing it out) There are times I must tell you my stories about yellow snow, farting, blow jobs, and experiences of hump-happy dogs. Don’t be offended by my tales. Just blame it on the Witzelsucht.
The Shameful Sheep 
Fucking hilarious! Haha
Nice post, my dear.
Thanks 🙂
There’s no need to be sheepish or ashamed if ewe love puns. Where wool we be without them?
Yesss. That was too perfect haha
Oh, my goodness! It feels *sooooo* good now that someone has finally gone and Sucht on my Witzel. I feel discovered. Renewed. Refreshed. . . . Unloaded. I believe in multiple Witzelsucht. To be honest, though, I thought a reasonable diagnosis was Housemania.
Refreshed is rightttt. I had a feeling you were going to make the pun of sucht on my witzel. You never disappoint lol
Always keeping my finger on the pulse.
Perfect!
Thanks 🙂
I knew a guy like that in college. He couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t sleep with him. I should have told him his Witzel sucked.
Hahah. That would have been great. Poor little fella
So I was all like “Yea there’s a reasoning this way!” because I was just horrifying people at a Christmas party. Ya know how that goes. Then I looked it up and it’s caused by brain lesions and/or tumors. Less excited now.
Jesus, that’s terrible. I didn’t see that when I read into it. Maybe it’s possible to have witzelsucht and not have those things? I hope?
Could also be from a head injury or degenerative disease. Totally fucked.
Damn… Well, I wish I read further into it. That’s some messed up shit.
A real mind fuck if you will.
Notice that I have inappropriately ruined your euphoric post. Witzelsucht fo’ sho’
Haha, but… You still made me laugh about it. I’m such a dick. It’s pretty ironic, because I was going to use this post and refer people to it to justify my terrible and inappropriate behavior. No the end… it just makes me look 50 times worse hahah
Perfect.
When I stopped by the allergy clinic today to get my weekly allergy shots I noticed a used condom laying in the parking lot amongst the regular puddles of melting snow and remnants of the still yet to melt dirt brown colored snow. It was disgusting, obviously, but I thought who has sex in the parking lot of an allergy clinic?!? Or, does someone, upon arriving for their allergy shots, randomly dump it thinking “oh yeah, this pesky used condom just sitting here in my cup holder has GOTS to go and this is as good a place as any!?” So as I’m thinking of these things as I make my way across the parking lot I think hey, I should tell my allergist there is a used condom in her parking lot. Then I follow up that thought with, why? Do I expect her to send someone out to pick it up? Do I expect her to say “oh yeah that was mine, wondered where I left it” or do I simply feel the driving need to share inappropriate information with people?
Thanks to your post I now have my answer. 😉
Haha I woulda asked about it! Sometimes these things just need to be shared and talked about.
I would say this is a great discovery.
I too am a sufferer of this horrific an totally incurable disease.
Together I think we need to raise the worlds awareness of this and the fact that it does not discriminate an d can make total arseholes of anyone…. 😉
Great find Blair…!
LETS DO IT. Can we start a campaign?
It needs to be out there. People need to feel our pain and know of our plight 😜😜😊😊😳😳
It’s a tough life
Witzelsucht is for life, not just for Christmas 😉
Agreed. We are committed to this damn thing lol
Committed to it or committed because of it. Only time will tell if when we either raise up in arms to rail against the daily discrimination we feel or end up as an extra in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest….!
Oh, so happy to know i’m not alone!
I’m starting a club 🙂
Someone add this to ICD-11 already! 😀
For real! Lol
Excellent word! I’ll add it to schadenfreude as a favourite 😉 Not that I ever experience that one, either!
What’s that one? Never heard of it lol. I’m a bit slow
Google it! Although it will show a bad side to me, lol 😉
Wait… since when is it not appropriate to tell stories about yellow snow, blowjobs, farting and humping dogs?
I think there is an internet version of this condition where people can’t help but speak only in memes (which I believe has replaced the pun as the lowest form of humor)….
That’s pretty terrible, lol. Damn
Yes, of course, not your fault at all. In fact I feel a bit sorry for you.
Thanks. So kind of you lol
There must be a correlation between this and an aging brain – THIS TOTALLY EXPLAINS EVERYONE’S DAD EVER.
Hahaha I didn’t think of that. This is my dad, too. My dad likes to tell random sex stories. Because that’s not creepy or anything….
I definitely have the W disease. My lovely friend presented my husband with a bottle of wine tonight. The wine had a little knitted hat on it and I couldn’t resist pointing out, inappropriately, that it looked like a willy warmer. “KERRY!’, was the response… Merry Christmas inappropriate friend.
Hahah willy warmer. Is your husband going to give it a go and let us know if it works? Merry Christmas 🙂
I will post a photo (just kidding PG site!) Merry Christmas!
Glad you could put a name to it. Don’t go for therapy though – we love you the way you are! Priceless 🙂
Haha thank you 🙂 I’m too cheap to pay for therapy anyway! Lol
When I first read this, my eyes just skimmed over the name of the disease. I seem to have a bad tendency to ignore medical/technical words. And then at the end of the post I was like – Wait. Is that witzel sucht. So I guess I qualify for the disease too 😛
Haha. Medical terms are always tough. I do the same. Welcome to the W club. Woo. Tea and cookies will be by shortly
Hehe 🙂
I’m late with no puns. I sucht! Although, I like this diagnoses better than my Tourettes 😉
Haha. Tourettes definitely suchts more than this!
I did a theatrical performance about puns, it was a play on words 🙂
Hahah love it. Puns always get me
Weaselsucked? I should get down the doctors …
Everyone else: When are you going to stop laughing at fart jokes?
Me: When they stop being funny.
Haha exactlyyy
Then there are the shaggy-dog stories …
Oh god, the hump-happy dog stories. I not only tell them, but I get out my phone and try to force people to look at the pictures. Why don’t people get how hilarious this is?
Haha you have pictures of dogs humping you? That, my friend, is a bit weird. This is why I like you
I have a fabulous dog-humping-me story. And you have just inspired me to share it in a blog post in the next little while. Be prepared for some simultaneous LOL and ewwwww.
Oh god haha
As always, you made me laugh! Pretty sure if they still have that comedian tv show where people auditioned, you’d win! Your wit is totally relatable yet still a bit of “pop came out my nose when I read it” type hilarious! Love this blog! 🙂
Haha thank you! That means a lot to me. You’re awesome 🙂
LOL! Well your condition allows us to be all entertained. There is nothing wrong with that.
I believe there’s a support group: PUN: Particularly Unruly Nuts and they meet in large groups that aren’t anonymous so other people can watch them so they can draw attention to themeselves. The 12-steps are actual steps that they climb up on top of a table so they can jump up and down on and tell jokes and fart and act silly. I know these things because I was chapter president of a local group for a bit until I was laughed out. You have to have pre-requisites like ‘class clown’, being sent to the vice-principal’s office constantly, being disruptive, not making honor society for lack of teacher’s vote (you may have the grade average) because you were a pain in the butt. A star member was George Carlin…. we all need to follow his lead. He did a piece years ago on being the class clown….I was very young, but he inspired me to be one ever after…..!! Carry on!
Haha, damn… I wouldn’t make it in! I was a nerdy kid in school. What was I thinking? What a waste lol. George Carlin was awesome. I still listen to him at times
Well I can make you an honorary member now as you’ve grown into one of ‘us’. Lucky you! 😉
Scoreeee
While there is much to admire in German culture, the ugly sound of the language is not one of them. The language does have a few redeeming features, and they are mostly words like Witzelsucht.
Witzelsucht IS a great word lol