Today is Alex and my wedding anniversary. Can we give him a round of applause, please? Dealing with me on a daily basis is a whole roller-coaster of crazy. And not a fun one where you scream, throw your hands in the air, and make a plan with your friends to give a big thumbs-up and a cheesy grin to the camera as you zoom by on the rails. Keep your arms and legs inside the cart at all times, folks, or you might lose one.
Even though I’m a bit crazy, our marriage is quite the opposite. We have an easy, respectful and loving relationship, and I couldn’t possibly be more grateful. I thought it would be fun to share a poem I wrote for Alex this year. Now, let me forewarn you: an 8-year-old has better poetry skills than I do. (I probably haven’t written one since then, anyway) This poem was meant to be a silly joke, and that’s all.
“Oh Alex, I really love you
And the way that you love me
Your butt, your smile, your sense of humor,
Jesus, you make me so crazy.
You’re sexy when you’re cleaning
Take charge of that litter box!
Hurry up, now. I can’t stand it
Strip down into your socks!
Thank you for accepting me,
Farts, hairiness, and all
Even when I shed like crazy,
And leave it on the shower wall
I’ll love you ’til you’re old and wrinkly,
I’m honored to be your wife
You’re stuck with me forever, babe
I’m yo bitch fo’ life”
I know, I know. I won’t quit my day job.