a storm is brewing

This post is going to get a little sticky, folks. If you’re one of those people who doesn’t enjoy a vivid bodily-function-story, you may want to skip this one. For everyone else: strap yourselves in and keep your eyes on the road. It’s about to get all taboo up in here.(You’ve been warned)  Let’s jump right in. 

Have you ever been out somewhere and had the sudden urge to go to the bathroom? Now, I’m not talking about drinking too much of your beloved Starbucks vanilla latte and taking a stroll over to the ladies room to pee. I’m talking about standing in the middle of the grocery store and getting a sharp pain that alerts you that a storms-a-brewin’. You’re forced to abandon your shopping cart and propel into a sprint past the front registers.  Don’t worry about all the customers and employees thinking you are crazy, there is just one goal: Get. To. The. Car. You can make it home, right? It’s only five minutes.

familypooper

You’ve driven this route a million times. You’re 100% sure you’re going to make it. Your seat heater is cranked. Your music is pumping. There’s no doubt you’ll be able to make it home and enjoy the privacy of your own bathroom. Hallelujah. Then it hits you again, and this time it’s harder. Your toes curl, you begin to sweat profusely, and everyone else driving on the road has turned into a ‘motherfucker who won’t get the hell out of the way.’ 

Creepy & curious minds (mine) want to know: how do you handle this situation?

PS – Be careful when adding more broccoli to your diet.

 

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130 thoughts on “a storm is brewing

  1. inspirationalgem says:

    Oh, no, I love bodily function stories and it’s sweet to meet someone else who isn’t too grossed out by it! My mom & sister cannot stand when I talk about body functions and stuff of that sort! Lol And they say I have the mentality of a man and are appalled. Coincidentally, I read this post of yours a few days ago right after reading another bodily function story quite similar. (I promise I wasn’t actually searching for them!) It’s just a coincidence one showed up in my inbox on another blog then this one. But I clicked this off by accident and couldn’t remember where I read it! Lol And I think I would choose #3! ;-D
    (sorry if this shows up more than once, my wifi connection at work was acting up and I hit the post button again. Then again. It also insists that I’m not following your blog when I definitely was so I keep hitting “follow.”)

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      My mom and sister are the same 🙂 they always tell me how ‘unladylike’ I am. Psht! I don’t know who posted the other poop story at the same time as me, but they’ve gotta be awesome haha. (Don’t worry, your post only posted once!)

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