Over Christmas, I stood in the middle of a dirty and crowded Wal-Mart aisle for twenty minutes considering whether or not to buy a toy moped that matched the cat-like Monster High dolls my 9-year-old niece has. I mean, this thing was pretty damn awesome – you could decorate it with stickers, the black ‘paint’ was super shiny with zebra stripes, and I knew her dolls would look really awesome zooming around on it in their cute dresses and their perfectly high-lighted hair flying behind them. She’d love it. No doubt. I knew this would make her Christmas. Until Alex pointed out that it wasn’t what she asked for.
I honestly felt a little bit disappointed. I looked forward to her opening it, then asking me to play with her. Then, I realized there’s a 98% chance I’m teetering on the brink of insanity because I thought it was so cool I considered buying the damn dolls and their matching moped for myself. Nobody would know, right? Alex wouldn’t tell my secret. A 29-year-old married woman starting her own Monster High collection… that’s not too weird or anything. (Except…it is 100% weird as hell and someone should have busted into that Wal-Mart and bitch slapped me across the face two times. Once for thinking of buying it. Twice for going into Wal-Mart in the first place.)
The truth is – I don’t think I’ll ever grow up. I still zip my high-heel boots up over my hidden Batman socks. I prefer seeing an animated family movie over any other genre. Feeding the ducks and making a stuffed animal at Build-A-Bear seems like a great afternoon. A game of Clue and hot chocolate tops off the perfect night. I don’t know how I ended up so weird.
Which leads me to a… Fun Fact: People with awkward and weird personalities tend to make the best friends.
So… anyone want to come play a rousing game of Clue with me while Finding Nemo plays in the background? Bonus – I even have some peppermint hot chocolate leftover from Christmas to share.