Visiting my parents is always interesting – mainly because they are tiptoeing the fine line of descent into crazy-town. Their responses to things have always been questionable… like the time my sister was brought home by the police because she was caught drunk, underage, and hanging her bare ass out of a moving vehicle. Or the time my brother tried to unsuccessfully grow weed in a dark corner of his room. But, we were polite and got good grades. That was all that mattered back then.
Alex and I saw them in NYC a few months ago, and this particular conversation happened in the middle of a crowded restaurant. (The people sitting next to us were not amused.)
Dad: I’m ready to leave the city and retire. Too much weirdness here. And people are proud of it. What the hell happened to keeping things private? Too much Facebook and crap. Even the guys in the building across from ours leave the curtains wide open when they have visitors. Jesus. What’s the world coming to?
Me: Oh, God…
Dad: Yep. These kids have no shame. There’s new women over every night. And they have the hoochiest clothes on. It’s like the red light district. You can see everything. People holding their legs open, kneeling, heads bobbing. It’s hummer city over there.
Me: Oh, gross. Do we have to talk about this here?
Dad: Blair… don’t be rude. Hookers need love, too.
(Dad – you are inappropriate, graphic, a little bit ridiculous, and a lot of crazy. Thanks for being awesome.)