thanks for that, dad

Visiting my parents is always interesting – mainly because they are tiptoeing the fine line of descent into crazy-town. Their responses to things have always been questionable… like the time my sister was brought home by the police because she was caught drunk, underage, and hanging her bare ass out of a moving vehicle. Or the time my brother tried to unsuccessfully grow weed in a dark corner of his room. But, we were polite and got good grades. That was all that mattered back then. 

Alex and I saw them in NYC a few months ago, and this particular conversation happened in the middle of a crowded restaurant. (The people sitting next to us were not amused.)

Dad: I’m ready to leave the city and retire. Too much weirdness here. And people are proud of it. What the hell happened to keeping things private? Too much Facebook and crap. Even the guys in the building across from ours leave the curtains wide open when they have visitors. Jesus. What’s the world coming to?

Me: Oh, God…

Dad: Yep. These kids have no shame. There’s new women over every night. And they have the hoochiest clothes on. It’s like the red light district. You can see everything. People holding their legs open, kneeling, heads bobbing. It’s hummer city over there.

Me: Oh, gross. Do we have to talk about this here?

Dad: Blair… don’t be rude. Hookers need love, too. 

jimmyfalloncrotch

(Dad – you are inappropriate, graphic, a little bit ridiculous, and a lot of crazy. Thanks for being awesome.)

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103 thoughts on “thanks for that, dad

  1. polianthus says:

    Oh wow – in overly PC modern days your dad sounds like someone who a) has an opinion and b) is not afraid to state it – oh and c) he’s a non-conformist – 🙂 – a man who knows his own mind – aren’t you glad you didn’t grow up with the mental equivalent of laundry detergent? I guess your brother did not turn into a biologist then and your sister is a doctor?

  2. Sara McDaren says:

    My mom is often inappropriate and frequently over-shares. She’s in PA now, but I think all that NYC water she drank as a kid must have something to do with it. You might want to warn people.

  3. vsperry says:

    One time, in an Italian restaurant on First Avenue, dad pointed to another table and said in an alcoholic sotto voce voice “I THINK THEY’RE MAFIA”. While I was slowly attempting to disappear under the table in case stray bullets came our way, my mom said “George, it’s rude to point.” Yeah. That’ll stop us from getting whacked, mom…

  4. erkenly says:

    Haha…gotta love daddy! Mine is 80 and from NJ…and what they say is true…you can take the man out of NJ, but you can’t take NJ…well, you know the rest.

  5. Eugene Knapik says:

    Hey Shameful Sheep…I’ve noticed you’ve been following my little blog for a while, but I haven’t been doing so much blog reading lately, so only now am I wandering over to see what’s happening over here. I like your blog a whole lot. Back soon.

  6. mawil1 says:

    I like your parents point of view. Yes your kids are going to experiment and go a bit too far sometimes, but as long as they are polite and get good grades…… Sounds good to me!!!!

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      I agree :). I hope to be the same with my future kids. They had a good idea of what was important for the future vs ‘a kid being a kid.’ We never went completely wild and rebelled because our parents let us have space to figure stuff out on our own. They are great 🙂

  7. mudpilewood says:

    I have to say, I like your Dad. He would fit right in here, in our house where we do not follow the sheep syndrome i.e. just because everyone else is doing it we don’t necessarily do it too. However, that said we will follow Blair with interest.

  8. tpcsufian says:

    My dad is like that too. He actually encouraged me to party and experiment though. He was more of a best friend than a father. Lmao! I miss him. Thanks for your blog post! 🙂

  9. itsgoodtobecrazysometimes says:

    I can safely say that as a parent myself, when your child is growing up, you look after them, showering them with love and plot and plan about all the things you are going to do when they are old enough for you to embarress without it being considered child abuse, its the only way you hand onto your last bit of sanity

  10. DoRunnersPooInTheWoods says:

    Hahahahahaha got to love parents. My mum being “awkwardly British” (well Welsh really lol) would pretend not to notice any across the road shenanigans whilst simultaneously breaking her neck to nose lol x

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