I know I’m not the only one around these parts that enjoys a good poem about bumpin’ uglies. So, I thought it would be fun to share a piece from one of my favorite people on WordPress. She’s one of the nicest people here and she is hilarious. If you don’t know who pixieannie is already, make sure you visit her blog. You’ll find an amazing person there – a fitness lover, animal lover, an amazing photographer, she’s got tattoos all over and has the best workout clothes. (Seriously… can we switch lives, please?)
Here’s her short & hilarious poem:
I set fire to my bed last night
the first time I shagged Gary
my ma and pa came in the room
and said that we should marry
I remember from the science class
that friction made stuff hot
bugger me, I’d not have guessed
but blamed it on the pot
roll on three years later
and we have a kid name Boo
he’s a proper little ‘ooligan
filled the petrol tank with glue
I guess it’s safe to say now
that we shag at a slower pace
but just in case the spark ignites
there’s a water bed in case
43 thoughts on “i set fire to the bed last night”
That looks like a steaming toilet in the middle of the bed! Yikes!! My visuals!!
Oh, gross. Haha. It kind of does… I didn’t realize that.
Oh this is hilarious. Thanks for sharing!
Oh my god. You’ve made me sound absolutely awesome. You must never disappear. I need more people like you in my life. And that picture is hilarious. Where on earth did you find that? Good old Gary and his balls of fire. Now there’s another idea for a poem.
Thank you Blair, for featuring me on your amazing blog. You’re without a doubt, one of the funniest writers that I have come across, apart from myself of course. x
Thank you 🙂 I was just Googling a picture for ‘waterbed’ trying to find something. Then that came up. It seemed like a good fit haha.
Oh, that’s funny.
Thanks for reading 🙂
Right? I thought it was hilarious
What’s better? A bed on fire? Or a huge, enormous wet spot on the bed? People often seek good luck charms, and spells, to improve their sex life!
This is hilarious. Going over there now to see what other goodies she writes.
She has a recent poem about microwaving her cat ha!
I subscribed to her blog. I’ll have to go back and find the singed cat. Or glowing? What happens to a cat when you microwave it? I’ll have to read and find out.
Thankfully…. I don’t know what happens to a microwaved cat haha
Gotta love dirty poetry!
I’m sure I can rustle up some more filth. God knows, my mind has cabinets full of the stuff.
Oh, and you know I do. And what I do. Hahahaha.
Fabulous picture and funny poem..Is the writer English I didn’t think you used words like “shag” and “bugger” in America? Or “ooligan” for that matter! And although I know you have Gary’s in the USA it is such an English name. I’ve just actually “translated” one of my stories for a US website as there were too many terms in there I didn’t think they would understand. Everyone on WordPress must be bilingual in British English though as they seem to understand everything just fine! http://bit.ly/1ER5cLY
Yes, she’s English. Gary is a really popular name here, too. But not the other words 🙂
PixieAnnie, spread wide those cabinet doors and show us what’s piled on your shelves. *Smirk*
Oh jeez haha
That’s the perfect start to a Sunday morning. My cabinet doors are in need of some lubrication as they are rarely opened nowadays.
Remember to treat the wood. You want the perfect stain.
I love you guys hahah
Reblogged this on wwwpalfitness.
My ass is missing too 😀
Took the words right out of my mouth 🙂 (Hey, did you see that I used the cat name you suggested – Tora- for my new kitten? Thanks again !)
Sorry I’ve missed this post with the cute picture of Tora! I’ve been really slow in catching up with the blog posts this past week. Thanks for letting me know. (^=˃ᆺ˂)
Any idea why I can’t like any of the comments?
I don’t think the theme I’m using allows it. I’ll try to fix it, though 🙂
Yeah, I can’t figure out how to fix it. I can be pretty slow when it comes to computers, though. Sorry, dear 😦
That’s ok. I could like comments to start with and then it went and buggered off. Damned thing.
Sick humor! Always the best!
I couldn’t agree more lol
Oh this is priceless. Thanks so much for sharing. Great words, even better picture, dare I say, brilliant coupling!
That was funny!
I nominated you for an award https://wwwpalfitness.wordpress.com/2016/01/18/very-inspiring-blogger-award/
that woman has a great sense of humor. I think I like her
You have good sense of humour!