i set fire to the bed last night

I know I’m not the only one around these parts that enjoys a good poem about bumpin’ uglies. So, I thought it would be fun to share a piece from one of my favorite people on WordPress. She’s one of the nicest people here and she is hilarious. If you don’t know who pixieannie is already, make sure you visit her blog. You’ll find an amazing person there – a fitness lover, animal lover, an amazing photographer, she’s got tattoos all over and has the best workout clothes. (Seriously… can we switch lives, please?)


Here’s her short & hilarious poem:

I set fire to my bed last night
the first time I shagged Gary
my ma and pa came in the room
and said that we should marry

I remember from the science class
that friction made stuff hot
bugger me, I’d not have guessed
but blamed it on the pot

roll on three years later
and we have a kid name Boo
he’s a proper little ‘ooligan
filled the petrol tank with glue

I guess it’s safe to say now
that we shag at a slower pace
but just in case the spark ignites
there’s a water bed in case


43 thoughts on “i set fire to the bed last night

  1. pixieannie says:

    Oh my god. You’ve made me sound absolutely awesome. You must never disappear. I need more people like you in my life. And that picture is hilarious. Where on earth did you find that? Good old Gary and his balls of fire. Now there’s another idea for a poem.

    Thank you Blair, for featuring me on your amazing blog. You’re without a doubt, one of the funniest writers that I have come across, apart from myself of course. x

  2. howtohavegoodluckblog says:

    What’s better? A bed on fire? Or a huge, enormous wet spot on the bed? People often seek good luck charms, and spells, to improve their sex life!

  3. carolineturriff says:

    Fabulous picture and funny poem..Is the writer English I didn’t think you used words like “shag” and “bugger” in America? Or “ooligan” for that matter! And although I know you have Gary’s in the USA it is such an English name. I’ve just actually “translated” one of my stories for a US website as there were too many terms in there I didn’t think they would understand. Everyone on WordPress must be bilingual in British English though as they seem to understand everything just fine! http://bit.ly/1ER5cLY

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