Get your fat pants on and lose those shirts, people … it’s time to let your nipples free for WTF Wednesday! Wooooo. Okay, that’s not really a thing. It just seemed like it would be fitting for this post. I think you’ll agree after you finish reading. (With the ‘what the fuck.’ Probably not the nipples. Nipples really have nothing to do with anything. Sorry, pervs.)
I’m excited to share a post written by an awesome blogger ’round these parts – Charlotte Graham (go on and visit her – I’ll wait.) I’m going to go out on a limb here, and say – if we knew each other in person we would probably be best friends (until I scared her away, at least.) She’s a runner, gamer, Panthers fan, writer, and a nerd with style. Girl crush alert. (I can say that without it being creepy, right? Since I’m married? Right?!) Let’s get on with it, then!
Today while walking to work I found an abandoned voodoo doll on a park bench. True story. If it weren’t negative a billion degrees outside and if I had actually been able to feel my fingers, I would have snapped a photo. Alas.
But, the day was soon to be filled with even more creepy dolls, when a friend posted the following on Facebook:
Creepy AF, amirite?!My first question when I saw this was, “do parents really save all their kids’ baby teeth??” I had always just assumed that dear old Mom and Dad threw them in the trash once the Tooth Fairy made her rounds. I mean really, if you’re a parent and you hang onto your kids’ teeth and don’t do something weird like this with them, what do you do? Present them all in a fancy box upon your child’s 18th birthday? Here ya go, son. I thought about getting you a car for graduation. But here are your baby teeth instead!
But now apparently you can turn those baby teeth into a scary-ass doll!
Now, I’m not a parent, so far be it from me to say if this would actually be sentimental were it my child’s leftover baby teeth — but damn!
I think dolls in general are creepy, but these human teeth monster dolls take it to a whole new level. Folks, this is what I like to call Grade A Nightmare Fuel. Have fun sleeping tonight.
Guys, this should go without saying – teeth monster plushies are not okay.
The Shameful Sheep 
Sentimental about my children as I am, these dolls are downright creepy! Another great find Blair!
Right? I can’t believe people do this lol
OMFG! Noooooo!
My thoughts exactly!
omfg I just spit out my coffee. Kuh-REEPY!!
But I hope WTF Wednesday takes off.
Wasted coffee! Nooooo. WTF Wednesday may stay. I was just randomly writing, but I feel like it would fit in well here as a normal thing lol
Totally a normal thing for you. Yes. 🙂
Coffee wasn’t wasted. I licked it back up off the desk. Never fear.
Phew.
oh. no. no no no no no
There aren’t enough ‘no’s in the world, are there? lol
I told my trainer about this and I wish I had a camera to capture the look on her face and her ‘noooooooooo’. This also comes about a week after she ran into this lady who makes these dolls that are exact replicas of babies, sooo life like… so scary. (She said it takes two weeks to make a baby and you only have to bake it for five hours).
Lmao that’s so strange. What a weird job to have…. Ahh
Oh man I just had the best laugh. That is soooo creepy. I have to admit to keeping some baby teeth from my kids in a book, but stick them in a doll, no way! Actually I must find them and ditch them. What a great find Blair. I enjoyed the post 🙂
Thanks! I don’t think keeping them in a book, or adding them into a scrapbook or something is a big deal. Dolls are scary, though lol 🙂
Yep, definitely creepy.
I’m totally going to do this. Yes I do have my kids’ baby teeth. I’m not sure why. It might be that they made such cute envelopes to the tooth fairy, and once I had spirited them away from under their pillows, it just didn’t seem right to throw them in the trash. So they are all in a shoebox. Finally, I have an idea what I can do with them! Thanks Blair!
Noooo. You are not welcome 🙂 Hahaha
So. I just read through (well, skimmed really) all 5000 comments here. All of them skeemish and – dare I say? – sort of wimpy. Why do I seem to be the only one who thinks this doll idea is kind of cool? (Though I am probably going to go the hand puppet route.) Think about it – with one of these you could bite people! With our own teeth!
You’re a good seller. A toothy hand puppet? Totally normal 🙂 haha
Did I say “skeemish”? I meant squeamish.
Freaking hilarious. Like snot almost came out my nose funny. And that’s one scary looking doll. I have a kiddo and I’d never do that. Nightmares all around. 🙂
I’m sure your kid is grateful for that haha. 😀
Funny. I bet you’re right. I bet that doll would even freak out Lulu Jones! And, she’s blind in one eye! Ha!
Haha I think you’re right
Oh my gosh! You’ll never believe this! Little Bit just lost a tooth!
You better save it! Hahaha. Weird coincidences 🙂
It’s already under the pillow. Come on tooth fairy. If she brings one of those dolls, I’ll pee my pants!
Ahhh! I’m never going to be able to unsee this. I’m so totally sharing this with my husband when he gets home. If I can’t unsee it, he can not unsee it with me. 😛
That’s what husbands are for. It’s no fun suffering alone haha
So, so true lol
Lol Creepy but I must say, they’re kind of cute! ;-D I don’t know if these make good companions for children though! They may just scare them silly! Imagine waking up next to one of those things! And those kind of look like human eyes too….
Oh and I’m disappointed about the nipples…. 😉
Haha waking up next to one? Noooo thank you. That’s creepy as hell.
This is beyond creepy. It’s reminiscent of voodoo on a whole new level. Heh, why not save their first pubic hairs and make a beard dolly. Yuk. Shiver. Cringe.
Blair, you have a girl crush? Can’t stop laughing.
A pube dolly? Hahahaha. That’s so damn weird. I think I know what I’m giving my husband for his birthday.
Get collecting now. Will you stuff it with the pubes or have them on the outside? Jesus. I bet there’s a market for pubic hair. Feed it, grow it, harvest it…sell it on eBay. Make sure it’s not clean and you’ll probably get twice the money.
Too many creeps on eBay haha. I steer clear from that shitshow!
Presumably another prerequisite for these dolls is that your child must also have shed its baby eyes?!
Haha, I didn’t even notice how creepy its eyes were. Holy crap.
THIS IS NOT OKAY.
This has scarred me.
This is too fucking scary by far.
I think I want my Mummy.
Shit.
Get ready for some nightmares! Ahhhh
I shall not be sleeping this evening….😳😜
Ewwww……that is totally disgusting. What’s next? I don’t even want to think about it. But I could imagine……
I don’t want to know what’s next. Scary lol
Oh my god. I’ve just looked at those pictures again. My eyes are bleeding. I’ve sent this to a friend of mine. I’m expecting a response any minute. Can you imagine giving a friend a present…they open the said present..you’ve made them a teddy hair bear, stuffed with the head from your head, your pubes, your ear hair and your belly button fluff. Then they can lie next to it at night and know that no matter what, you’ll be together forever. Just for a bit of va va room, take nail clippings and make a necklace.
Sick! Hahaha. I hope no one has actually done something like that. I have a feeling someone has, though. Too many creepsters out there.
You made me do it…
Why I googled, I’ll never know.
http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=671
I haven’t decided if I want to click that or not yet… Oh god haha
Obviously, you do.
Oh, these are awful. Don’t like. And now I can’t unsee them. What is wrong with people?
Right? So many things. lol
Ai Caramba, the dolls are so horrible we can’t look away!
Haha. I feel the same way. Ick!
Holy shit, NOOOooooOOOOOOoooooOOO! No. I love my kids, but
No teeth, no pubes, not even from the wife, no fingernail clippings,
No blood, ick, eww, noooo. Throw that shit away. No bronzed shoes
or damned bronzed diapers or shit either. IIIIIIICCCCKKK!!!!! Sick!
Haha. Aw come on, you wouldn’t enjoy a pube doll from your wife? Psht 😀
Stop…
http://www.buzzfeed.com/gyanyankovich/pube-beard-people-pube-beard#.hxJEEx4Bnw
lemme think for a second…. um…. no.
I’m not going to sleep tonight. I’m so creeped out.
That is the gnarliest toy I have ever seen. WTF Batman?!
If you have saved any of your kids’ teeth, you should look into doing the doll. Will scar them forever haha
Blair, hate to disappoint but I’m a man. In the old, 1980’s sense. I don’t save teeth. If it was done, I have no knowledge of said saving. It was done by my wife. I teach my daughters how to be strong forces for good in the world. I leave that touchy-feely stuff to my wife. 😉
Makes sense haha
Yes I’ll give her a boo… I stopped playing with dolls when I was 37 though! Well, true last week I was playing house and dress up with a Barbie Doll. And she ignored me the whole time!
That Barbie is a bitch haha
That may be the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen. Won’t stop me from forwarding it to my friend who had a baby in September though.
I’m sure she will love the idea haha
Her response, and I quote: “I MAY NEVER SLEEP AGAIN.” 🙂
Haha. Seems adequate!
I have cassettes of my old college radio shows from 32 years ago. But alas, we don’t intend to hold onto our daughter’s baby teeth for more than 32 seconds. [insert ‘Sad Trombone’ sound effect here.]
Aw, what a shame. Haha
I can never unsee this…thanks for the that
Muhahah. You’re welcome 🙂
Do those eyes look human to anyone else? Sufficiently creeped out.
I didn’t realize that at first. Totally freaky. It’s the doll of nightmares
No kids so no teeth, however…. I would totally do this precisely because it’s creepy AF!!!!!
It’s pretty fun being the creepy one in the group haha
My son is 38 years old and I believe I do have some baby teeth in an old jewelry box. I must make one of these and then quietly slip it in bed with him the next time he has to spend the night because he came over and drank a lot. Thanks for showing me a way to scar his psyche even further than I did during his upbringing. 😀
Oh, he will be scarred for sure hahaha.
I’m the first one to sign up for something creepy AF. But… All teeth are disgusting. Do you hear me? All teeth. Yes even the most beautiful, most precious child in the whole universe’s teeth are disgusting. I don’t do disgusting.
That being said, my children put their teeth in a plastic Ziploc sandwich bag underneath their pillows at night. Why? Because the tooth fairy that had their route required it that way (so she didn’t have to touch them) for safe guarding and ease of transport. She ah, was also super busy on her route, and so sometimes she wasn’t able to get to their teeth on the first night. It did on occasion take a second or even once a third night to retrieve their teeth. That damn recession – it hit everyone hard people.
What can I say? I was a shitty tooth fairy with short term memory problems. And those baggies with the tiny little tyke’s tooth in them? They were promptly buried in the trash. Yes, I’m sure I’m also a shitty mother.
If my mother had saved, and presented me, with my own baby teeth I’m sure it would take inhuman strength to keep me from throat punching her in knee-jerk reaction.
Haha a throat punch definitely would be needed if you were given tooth doll.
Wow. That’s the MOST unusual thing I’ve seen in months. I think it’s creative but certainly not cuddly. That orange doll to the right seems to have A LOT of teeth … did the kid loose every single tooth in their head? I never lost that many teeth.
Good question lol. I don’t remember losing that many either! Hmm….
That’s so very, very disgusting. I always wondered what people did with baby teeth. You can’t display them. You’re weird if you touch them. Maybe they’ll be helpful in the future for cloning purposes.
Right? I always assumed they got thrown in the trash right away. The cloning is smart. I didn’t think of that!
I’m sitting here trying not to fall off my chair from laughing. You know though I think I have just one of my sons teeth in the file cabinet. Would you like it? Where the hell did you find that?
I wish I found it! It was Charlotte who wrote the guest post. The picture comes from Facebook. It’s disturbing, isn’t it? Tooth monster dolls. It doesn’t get any weirder.
It right up there with Belly Button Lint Dolls……
https://www.etsy.com/transaction/51742044
Holy crap. I wish there was a way to see how much it sold for. I can’t imagine how bad that bear smells.
Gah-ROSSSS! Bleh. That is so nasty. I don’t care how cute that tiny bear is or that it’s encapsulated in a glass jar prison. Pah-yuke ville!
Oh that link is no good; Here a better one which includes things made from discarded finger nail cuttings. I saw this on the show Oddities.
http://geekologie.com/2010/12/human-ivory-belly-button-lint.php
Nail clippings? No no no no no no. Not okay. I almost gagged haha
Not just nail clipping TOE nail clippings…. Okay I swear last link.. here is the person who sells those tooth dolls on Etsy –>
https://www.etsy.com/shop/PurgatoryPlaything/about?ref=l2-about
It all makes sense now haha
The toenail clippings and belly lint “art” are making those tooth dolls look pretty good in comparison. At least, children’s baby teeth aren’t stinky!
Right? That belly bear has to smell SO bad. Gah
I stopped by to read at “nipples free” and stayed for the horribly terrifying picture of baby tooth doll. Yeah. We aren’t there yet but I’m pretty sure I’ll loose the teeth. Hopefully she at least gets her dollar before I do.
Haha I hope she at leash gets a dollar! It’s consolation for not getting a tooth doll
Ha oh wait! I was so tired when I read it. But lolol oh boy.
Nail clippings? Gross!!!!!! I’m glad I ate BEFORE I read that!
I’ll let you know if I have f*cked up dreams now because of all this weirdness!
I’m curious to know! Lol
I sleep fine last night and didn’t seem to have any nocturnal weirdness. Maybe petting and staring at my cute kitties before bed purged all that gross stuff out of my brain!
Don’t get me wrong … the teeth dollies, while I wouldn’t want one, were interesting to see … it’s just belly bear and toenail sculptures that haven’t pushed me to my limit!
WTF? I will never think of Wednesdays the same way again. Love it!
WTF right? Hahah
That puts a whole new spin on The Tooth Fairy.
I saved all but one of my kids’ baby teeth. I did it for purely sentimental reasons. I’m now going to sell them on ebay to the makers of creepy dolls. I mean sentiment has its place, but we’re talking about money here.
That’s awesome. I wonder how much old baby teeth would fetch on eBay? Sounds like a good idea lol
Could be my path to “billionairedom.” 🙂
Wonder if they have dog dolls for my dog’s teeth? 😲
Haha that’s pretty creepy. Did you save your dogs teeth?! Hmmm
LMAO!!! I was scared to read this post because of the creepy doll picture. However, after reading it I’m glad I did. It brought a giggle to my day. It also made me realize that my mother is one of those parents that keeps baby teeth. She use to collect my teeth and would tell me she wanted to get a necklace made for me. I am 26 years old and have yet to see this supposed jewelry lol. I will probably ask about today since this post reminded me of my well deserved jewels lol. I’ll keep you posted.
Oh god, a baby tooth necklace? Hahah. You should try to sell it on eBay and see how much it will fetch. You could go viral and make like 10k.
That would be nice lol!!
That’s totally creepy!!! OMG teeth!
Agreed ! Doesn’t get much creepier than that 😀
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
damn, guess I am a perv.
The best of us are. 🙂
whew! thank gawd.
Mi couldn’t see myself going through all that effort to make a scary ass doll for my kids. 😱 rofl
It would take a lot of commitment haha.
Right! 😚
Read Terry Pratchett’s The Hogfather. It totally explains the tooth fairy, among others.
Ha! True.
LK
I’ve never seen anything more horrifying. Well, that isn’t true, but CREEPY!!!!
This is creepy AF. If I ever found out that my mom made me something like this, I would run away.
Ditto. Doesn’t get much creepier than that lol
This is so creepy it actually is cool lol, reminded me of a pedia friend who collected the skin after a circumcision, apparently planning to make a wallet or something, with a little rubbing, she gets a whole luggage with it. Kidding. Just kidding. Lol. Creeepy
Holy Jesus. That would be so damn disturbing. Hahaha
She is funny! And you are funny. AND you said “nipple”. I was working out today and I thought, what if I just pulled my top down and let my tits breathe while I’m on this elliptical machine, a la Chelsea Handler? I think it would be kind of refreshing.
Chelsea Handler always randomly has her tits out. I don’t really understand why… But I’m a fan. A big one haha. It would have been hilarious if you just busted yours out at the gym.
Bwahaha I’m dying! That’s creepy as hell, but you know how the grandparents are always on and on about the grandkids…well maybe for Christmas this year, the grandparents get tooth dolls. We’ve lost half of Little Man’s teeth and Baby Girl has none, so that’s like two teeth per grandparent doll, but it’d work.
Rofl you should do it. It would be funny to see if they pretend to be touched by it. “Ohhhh this is greaaaat” haha.
That really is too creepy and completely spoils the Tooth Fairy Truth. How can you make a doll when the Tooth Fairy has them, eh????
Haha I’m sure it would spoil some fun. Gotta wait until they are old enough to know the truth! 🙂
What truth?
I don’t want to say. You may be wildly disappointed 🙂
😉