abort! abort!

Before Alex and I got married, we spent a fair chunk of time in a long distance relationship. We had no other choice but to master the art of dirty texting. Or ‘sexting’ as the cool people call it. (I really don’t know if that’s true. I’ve never been cool… but I’m going with it anyway.) We did it all day, every day… until the time I hit ‘send’ on a text and it went to the wrong person. My brother.

When-you-accidentally“I’ve been really bad. I wish you were here to bend me over and spank me” (It was something close to that. Thankfully, this happened six years ago.)

I’m pretty sure if there was a God, he would have followed my wishes and struck me down right then and there. Because, holy shit… I was begging him to. Anybody but my brother. Why him? Why, God, WHY? It’s one of the more horrifying moments in memory for me.

His response, which came a slow and agonizing hour later: “Yeah, uh… I’m going to pass on that…” It took quite awhile for my embarrassment over the situation to fade.

Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person before? Were you as embarrassed as me? Or were you too busy laughing your ass off to be worried about it?

textingmemeFor some reason this made me die of laughter. 

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234 thoughts on “abort! abort!

  1. Justice&Humanity says:

    This has never happened to me, but I am constantly checking to make sure I am sending to the right person, because I am paranoid. However, if I did send something like that to my brother, I would be able to quickly tell him, and we would both get a good laugh over it. He would be one of the best people to send it to for that reason. 🙂

  2. bubbles gum says:

    not a text but an email. Secretary in group I was in sent an email one day to our entire group (about 25 or us) saying “Hot dog lunch for you all on Friday!” she was supposed to just send to the supervisors. Email was brand new then at work, think it was ’88.

  3. hotmessmemoir says:

    I audibly gasped when I read sent it to my brother. Holy shit. When interviewing babysitters we were down to 3 until 1 of the girls sent us a topless pic on accident, Lord I pray it was on accident. And this chick was found on care.com. We had to pay to get this hayseed as one of the 3 contenders. That made our decision a third easier.

  4. lolabipola says:

    My brother would vomit if I accidentally sent him a message like that! He gets so uncomfortable when we talk about sex in front of him! Especially when my parents do it!!!

  5. Josh Wrenn says:

    Oh wow. That is truly terrifying. Luckily, my dirty texts have always been on target. Some innocent ones were sent to the wrong person because I don’t triple check them, but then it is only a second of confusion instead of a bit of embarrassment!

  6. carolynswriting says:

    Oh wow, thank you for the laugh – and the timing! I had an appointment with my (young, male) physio the other day, then sent him a text ‘Want pizza tonight?’ Luckily the physio was understanding, even more lucky I wasn’t asking hubby for anything else! I was embarrassed enough with that, my scalp actually prickled when reading yours. Glad you’ve recovered – finally! 😉

  7. sinsofamother says:

    Shit! The way my life is going now and with the number off guys I’m chatting too, I need to double check if I’m sending the right message to the right person…But it happened once, I sent a pic to my sister’s pastor, thank G he didn’t have my number on his phone and it was a headless pic of me…Sjoe, imagine that HAHAHA

  8. Barb Knowles says:

    Hysterical. Not that I often drop the F bomb, but I hate that it auto corrects to “duck.” I changed the settings. So that if that if “duck” came up it would correct back to “fuck.” A couple of months ago I sent a text to my 31 year old male co-teacher (I’m 62), that I knew he was trying to duck me. You can imagine what it autocorrected to. Luckily, he has a good sense of humor….

  9. April says:

    oh my….that would be a strike me down moment. The worst I have done is when our daughter moved into a new apartment and I went to visit, I texted my husband that I wasn’t too sure about the place. If I had an opinion, I wouldn’t let her live there. Yup, the text went to my daughter. She was sitting right next to me.

  10. frithe13th says:

    Oh, god, that is horrifying yet hilarious! I can’t remember a funny text that I mistakenly sent but I remember vividly the time where I was the person someone mistakenly sent a text to! It was during a business trip with a coworker I had JUST met that day. We exchanged digits so we could grab dinner that night at the hotel and at like 11pm, he texted me “night night wife wife.” I didn’t respond b/c I was too freaked out, lol. He texted me back “omg, ignore that please. I meant that for my wife.” (obviously!). I now use that phrase on my husband as a joke ‘cuz c’mon, it’s a cute phrase!

  11. bg says:

    Laughing out loud because I use to date a girl who thought I loved her when at the end of my txt I put lol and she read it lots of love…. Anyway no wrong txt to the wrong people yet touch wood. 🙂

  12. aintnobodygottimeblog says:

    This whole post is funny but as I scrolled down and saw that text you put a pic of with the cat I cackled- yes and like you I have no idea why but it made me laugh! 😂 Thank you!

  13. Maryanne says:

    Thanks hun, I really needed the laugh! I never sent a text to the wrong person, but I’ve accidentally put “love” instead of “sincerely” on business emails!

  14. terrepruitt says:

    Yes, I’ve sent texts to the “wrong” person. But I am careful not to text/tweet/pm anything that would be really embarrassing because it has the possibility of ALWAYS ending up in the “wrong” hands no matter what so . . . .not doing it is easier. But I was still embarrassed because I sent something to a student that I would not have had I been paying attention to who I was texting. I just took a picture and sent it to the last person that texted me. I thought it was my husband, but it was not. It was just a picture of my side view mirror that had just been taken off by a passed out driver. But when I called him and he didn’t know what I was talking about I was annoyed. Turned out it was because I didn’t send the pic to him.

    Your brother had a GREAT response! Ha, ha, ha!

  15. KatieComeBack says:

    I’ve received several wrong emails and texts I often respond. Consider it a creative writing prompt. I had one dude convinced I was his buddy and blew him off last night because I ended up in prison after I tried to pick up a hooker THAT WAS A BRO, DUDE.

    And then there was the email from the rental agency who got a little biffed when I asked about clarification in the lease that I’d have 48 hours notice before maintenance stopped in, due to my free-range boa constrictor….

  16. DavidTheEntertainer says:

    Haha poor dog! And also, MAN, that must have been mortifying. I sent a text about fancying someone to the girl I fancied at school by accident but nothing that bad. Did your brother ever bring it up again?

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