my agenda is full, thanks

Lately I’ve decided life is too hard and I’ve been finding it helpful to practice my favorite yoga position – face down on the couch in a pile of blankets. Ever get like that? I mean, seriously… unless someone is dying, don’t bother me. My mind is on vacation and the most important thing on my agenda is to see how many mini marshmallows I can fit in my mouth. (16. The answer is 16.) Thank God my husband hasn’t run away screaming bloody murder from disgust over my aversion to showers the past few days. The cats have taken to avoiding me. Assholes.

When I was finally able to drag my sorry ass out of the house, Alex and I decided to do something fun to lift the mood: bad food and arcade games. It works, guys. 4 out of 5 doctors in the US recommended.


Yes, that’s fried onion strings. On top of boneless buffalo wings. On top of a a pile of melted blue cheese. On top of a burger. I love America.


Then Alex won me a stuffed polar bear.Β He is the King Of The Claw Machine.

Yes, I’m 29 and still get excited over my husband winning me a stuffed animal. I’m not embarrassed.

I hope y’all had a great Easter filled with an overabundance of chocolate and jelly beans. Now that I’m functioning like a normal person again, I will be spending time catching up on the blogs I’ve missed.

134 thoughts on “my agenda is full, thanks

  1. carolineturriff says:

    Yours is the only kind of yoga move I could possibly contemplate or the widely misrepresented (and unfairly vilified) A-sleep yoga move which involves shoving your face down into a pillow and snoring as loudly as possible. Cute that your husband is still winning you stuffed animals. I keep going to fairgrounds and trying to win myself a husband but it doesn’t seem to work..

  2. mariegriffith says:

    Glad you’re back Blair. Also glad to know that your husband is King of the Claw Machine. What’s his secret? Blasted claw – I can’t ever grab anything long enough for it to make it to the drop off!!

  3. pawsinsd says:

    They no longer have Jurassic Park at Dave & Busters. Shame, it is the only video game I’d play with my husband and we’re way older than you.

    Maybe I can find an old game console as a gift? It would have to go storage, perhaps another storage unit,,,,, I think not. I’ve never tried the claw. I’d rather hold out for hitting powerball (I don’t buy tickets so would have to find the winning one on the sidewalk) yeah, or get hit by lightning. Dee

  4. lifevivified says:

    Funny, that’s my favorite yoga position too. It deserves it’s own name. I’d like to nominate Downward Face-Plant position for consideration. They’ll be teaching it at studios across the country any day now!

  5. itsmyhusbandandme says:

    I certainly can’t criticise your food choice. I spent most of Easter in some sort of self induced chocolate coma.

  6. plainmama says:

    16? Really? Are you really a small child? I got 42 mini marshmallows easily in my mouth. I am certain I could have hit over 50, but can’t risk puking before my run. I challenge you to really push your marshmallow mouth stuffing skills this week.

  7. nombre de la pluma says:

    fantastic. My favorite yoga pose too. My favorite activity right now is sipping coffee and seeing how slowly I can eat chocolate. It seems to go in my mouth faster than I can control it. And I’m out of chocolate. I’ll leave the marshmallows to you and the rest of these kids. bleah. and marshmallow peeps too, although in previous years I forced myself to eat one peep, I didn’t try this year. “Waiter! Can I get some assorted chocolates and a bottle of bourbon!?” Where *is* that waiter? Oh yeah, I’m on break here at work. Sigh.

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      I wish I could get that service at work. Damn, how cool would that be? I HATE peeps. Dear lord… they are so disgusting. I don’t get the appeal at all. I’m with you on the coffee and chocolate… there’s no better combination out there.

  8. pixieannie says:

    I bloody love your humour…damn. I’m right with you on the downward facing sofa doggy style whateverness. I’ve utilised that myself over the last few days. The z of my zest is AWOL, possibly in the bottom of the bag of Maltesers that I’ve not yet eaten or bought. That’s it, I need a lorry load of chocolate, delivered by men in leotards, simply for shits and giggles. One must not underestimate, shits and giggles, ever. Jim jam time, Blair.

      • pixieannie says:

        That’s a good thing, yes? I guess I might be considered terribly British, given that I am…terribly British, what… I shall endeavour to find more Britishness to make you like me until you want to squeeze me and squidge me senseless. Tally ho, my dearest.

      • pixieannie says:

        Oh shucks…sounds like you need some special pants. Don’t be frightened to start wearing elasticated trousers with a quick release flap, preferably one that can be ripped off and replaced, like a nappy liner. I know you’re young but it comes to us all sooner or later. I won’t tell.

    • nombre de la pluma says:

      I bloody love your humour too, pixieannie, as well as this article and thread and your blog as well. I can’t wear my leotards, they’ve leopard prints and I’ve been forbidden, but Mrs M is always up for chocolates. And I’m always up for a good squidging… πŸ˜‰ except, after dinner dishes, she’s already snoring-upon-sofa. Sigh.

  9. Po' Girl Shines says:

    Sadly, I’ve always been too hyper to just lay around, even when I have been ill or had surgery. I don’t know why I’m like that. Even if I’m super down or lazy, I just keep obsessively going like a freaking energizer bunny. It’s actually kind of scary. Sometimes I swear I won’t get out of bed the next day but I do anyway, and I’m retired now, against my will! But junk food, yum!

  10. In My Cluttered Attic says:

    I used to be a rich man, richer than Steve Jobs. Then, one day, I decided to start playing The Claw Machine. 14 billion dollars later all I have to show for it is a small 4 x 4 stuffed toy. I still haven’t been able to explain to the police why I was found inside its glass booth cradling a tiny Yellow Minionβ€”at least, not to their satisfaction, but, I GOT ONE! πŸ˜€

  11. Jessica Adam says:

    You’re lucky, I can’t even lay face down anymore because of my bad neck and shoulder! Ha!! Lay on the couch bunches! All the time, if you want! πŸ™‚

    I can’t believe he can actually get something out of those claw machines. We’ve about gone broke trying to get anything at all! Ha!

    Glad you’re feeling better. Bothers me that you’re having a rough time.

  12. Cici says:

    Well you are not the only one who hibernated this Easter. I spent the entire 4 days in bed with every junk food imaginable in reach without moving!
    Your food choice is amazing! I would love America too if thats what I could eat at a moments notice.
    Whoever criticizes you for being excited over a stuffed bear from your hubby has never gotten a stuffed bear! It is on my recommended gift list that I give people every year for presents they can give me all year round!
    Hope you had an awesome Easter!

  13. Jena says:

    That is truly my favorite yoga position right now, and I guess it speaks to my mood that the food you mentioned sounds heavenly. πŸ™‚

  14. frithe13th says:

    I think it’s funny that restaurants call them “boneless chicken wings.” You know what they are? Chicken chunks. Lol. I’m not hatin’ though–love those things! Something that literally sent a thrill up my spine the other day was when the KFC coupon booklet came in the mail and I had a moment just imagining all the combinations of items that I would get. It’s the little things!

  15. chattykerry says:

    I can’t honestly say that I love American food but I understand the need for comfort food. Teddy won me a furry critter when I was over 40 and I was REALLY EXCITED! My hygiene has been less than good recently too and Mrs. Stripe was edging towards my armpit again…:)

  16. simplygiselle says:

    Nothing better than an adult day at the arcade. My ex boyfriend and I would often make that a day of fun, only to draw blood on air hockey (always mine, yes I am very competitive…)

  17. jacquelineobyikocha says:

    Your post made me smile. Saw your link on Spartacus/Darrell’s post and tiptoed this way. There’s absolutely no shame in basking over such little happy moments of your husband winning you a stuffed animal occurs. I posted a shameless post of shouting out love from the rooftops for my dear husband today and it felt good.

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