Lately I’ve decided life is too hard and I’ve been finding it helpful to practice my favorite yoga position – face down on the couch in a pile of blankets. Ever get like that? I mean, seriously… unless someone is dying, don’t bother me. My mind is on vacation and the most important thing on my agenda is to see how many mini marshmallows I can fit in my mouth. (16. The answer is 16.) Thank God my husband hasn’t run away screaming bloody murder from disgust over my aversion to showers the past few days. The cats have taken to avoiding me. Assholes.
When I was finally able to drag my sorry ass out of the house, Alex and I decided to do something fun to lift the mood: bad food and arcade games. It works, guys. 4 out of 5 doctors in the US recommended.
Yes, that’s fried onion strings. On top of boneless buffalo wings. On top of a a pile of melted blue cheese. On top of a burger. I love America.
Then Alex won me a stuffed polar bear. He is the King Of The Claw Machine.
Yes, I’m 29 and still get excited over my husband winning me a stuffed animal. I’m not embarrassed.
I hope y’all had a great Easter filled with an overabundance of chocolate and jelly beans. Now that I’m functioning like a normal person again, I will be spending time catching up on the blogs I’ve missed.
The Shameful Sheep 
I feel you on the full agenda thing. I hope things ease up for you.
Thank you 🙂
Impressive load of grease. It makes me sad that those days are forever gone for me.
It was a bit much. Didn’t sit well in the stomach lol.
I just called into work the last two days so I can practice that very same yoga move. 😂😁
It’s a great one. My favorite 🙂
Loving it! Lol
Greasy foods stopped working for me a few years back. Enjoy it while you can.
Thanks lol. It tasted good, but my stomach wasn’t happy with me afterwards. Oops
Welcome back!
Thank you!
Duncan’ Donuts Chocolate Honey Dip. Works for me. 🙂
Dunkin’ Evil spell check
Oh, I’m with you on the DD. One of my favorite places to get a ‘naughty’ treat. Mmm…
Yours is the only kind of yoga move I could possibly contemplate or the widely misrepresented (and unfairly vilified) A-sleep yoga move which involves shoving your face down into a pillow and snoring as loudly as possible. Cute that your husband is still winning you stuffed animals. I keep going to fairgrounds and trying to win myself a husband but it doesn’t seem to work..
LOL. I don’t know about picking up a fair/carnival husband. Might not be the best place to look 😀 Hilarious
Glad you’re back Blair. Also glad to know that your husband is King of the Claw Machine. What’s his secret? Blasted claw – I can’t ever grab anything long enough for it to make it to the drop off!!
He just has the ‘eye’ to tell which ones are winnable or not. I can’t win them either! I swear those things are rigged. Sucks.
Tater tots . . . that’s all I can think about now!
They were amazingly salty. Mmmmmm.
They no longer have Jurassic Park at Dave & Busters. Shame, it is the only video game I’d play with my husband and we’re way older than you.
Maybe I can find an old game console as a gift? It would have to go storage, perhaps another storage unit,,,,, I think not. I’ve never tried the claw. I’d rather hold out for hitting powerball (I don’t buy tickets so would have to find the winning one on the sidewalk) yeah, or get hit by lightning. Dee
Really? I swear I saw one of those games recently. Hmm… I think it was for Jurassic World. Damn.. finding the winning powerball ticket on the sidewalk? That would be ridiculous haha.
Funny, that’s my favorite yoga position too. It deserves it’s own name. I’d like to nominate Downward Face-Plant position for consideration. They’ll be teaching it at studios across the country any day now!
Oh, I like that. How do we trademark it so we can get royalties? It really IS the best/most relaxing position.
Word. I can’t wait to sue everyone when they start taking selfies of themselves doing the Face-plant and posting it all over social media. We totally own that move!
Great! Now that you’re back on duty… I’m OUT!
No tradsys-takebacks or returnsys!
Noooooo
You crack me up! And I LOVE this idea!
Thanks 😀 You should try it. It’s a fun time lol
16! Now, that’s impressive.
😀
I’m very jealous of your tater tots. I love tater tots so much that is why they call me tater.
Really? Have you had the ones from Dave & Busters? They are so good. Mmm
I’ve never eaten at a Dave & Busters. I guess I need to go now.
It’s like Man vs Food! You’re living the American Dream. Well, eating it anyway.
Right? It’s such a ridiculous burger. In a good way, of course 😀
mmmmmmnomnomnommmmmmmslurp!
My sympathies. Glad you’re feeling better.
Thank you!
Stuffed polar bears?? Hey, that’s big! S*** like that just don’t happen every day!
Right? Pretty amazing lol
I certainly can’t criticise your food choice. I spent most of Easter in some sort of self induced chocolate coma.
JP
I don’t eat stuff like that often lol. Chocolate on the other hand, mmm….
16? Really? Are you really a small child? I got 42 mini marshmallows easily in my mouth. I am certain I could have hit over 50, but can’t risk puking before my run. I challenge you to really push your marshmallow mouth stuffing skills this week.
I have a terrible gag reflex, so I can’t push it too far lol. Plus, the marshmallows were semi-old so they weren’t as squishy. It was hard to stuff them in. I’m going to accept your challenge, buy a new bag, and see how many I can manage lol.
Squishy factor is HUGE. I hate cold marshmallows so I was not planning or able to eat what I had stuffed in, but I have faith you can best yourself and best 16 mini mallows.
I’m on it. I don’t really like them either, unless they are on s’mores. Obviously.
Obviously.
my favorite Couch Yoga song…
Nice choice 😀
fantastic. My favorite yoga pose too. My favorite activity right now is sipping coffee and seeing how slowly I can eat chocolate. It seems to go in my mouth faster than I can control it. And I’m out of chocolate. I’ll leave the marshmallows to you and the rest of these kids. bleah. and marshmallow peeps too, although in previous years I forced myself to eat one peep, I didn’t try this year. “Waiter! Can I get some assorted chocolates and a bottle of bourbon!?” Where *is* that waiter? Oh yeah, I’m on break here at work. Sigh.
I wish I could get that service at work. Damn, how cool would that be? I HATE peeps. Dear lord… they are so disgusting. I don’t get the appeal at all. I’m with you on the coffee and chocolate… there’s no better combination out there.
That is the most American meal I have ever seen. I think I just got the diabeetus.
Right? It was pretty disgusting. In a great way. I won’t be eating anything like it for a solid 6 months now lol.
There’s nothing a good burger won’t fix.
Seriously!
Or pizza.
I need that burger in my mouth.
It was… amazing. Do they have Dave & Busters in Canada?If so… go!
I don’t think so. I’m gonna have to renew my passport!
I bloody love your humour…damn. I’m right with you on the downward facing sofa doggy style whateverness. I’ve utilised that myself over the last few days. The z of my zest is AWOL, possibly in the bottom of the bag of Maltesers that I’ve not yet eaten or bought. That’s it, I need a lorry load of chocolate, delivered by men in leotards, simply for shits and giggles. One must not underestimate, shits and giggles, ever. Jim jam time, Blair.
Thanks, dear 🙂 Sofa doggy style. I like that idea haha. I love how British you sound/read. You always say something I’ve never heard or understand. It makes me like you even more. ❤
That’s a good thing, yes? I guess I might be considered terribly British, given that I am…terribly British, what… I shall endeavour to find more Britishness to make you like me until you want to squeeze me and squidge me senseless. Tally ho, my dearest.
Yessss. I’m excited. And, yes, it’s definitely a good thing! lol
Please don’t get so excited that you let out a little bit of wee. Just saying.
Too late lol
Oh shucks…sounds like you need some special pants. Don’t be frightened to start wearing elasticated trousers with a quick release flap, preferably one that can be ripped off and replaced, like a nappy liner. I know you’re young but it comes to us all sooner or later. I won’t tell.
I bloody love your humour too, pixieannie, as well as this article and thread and your blog as well. I can’t wear my leotards, they’ve leopard prints and I’ve been forbidden, but Mrs M is always up for chocolates. And I’m always up for a good squidging… 😉 except, after dinner dishes, she’s already snoring-upon-sofa. Sigh.
😀
You do make me smile. Forbidden? Damn. Can’t you just pop a macintosh over the top. Throw caution to the wind and well, scare the old ladies. Here’s to a jolly good squeegee. Snoring? That’s terribly attractive.
Happy Belated Easter!
Same 😀
I always make room for onion rings in my agenda.
As one definitely should! Yum
A heart attack on a plate.
So jealous….!
It was amazing. I felt bad eating it though lol. My stomach wasn’t happy, either 🙂
I’ll bet…!
Where is everyone getting these HUGE smiley’s from?
I’m not sure! My smiley was huge? Hmm
Ma-hoosive!!!!😊
Sadly, I’ve always been too hyper to just lay around, even when I have been ill or had surgery. I don’t know why I’m like that. Even if I’m super down or lazy, I just keep obsessively going like a freaking energizer bunny. It’s actually kind of scary. Sometimes I swear I won’t get out of bed the next day but I do anyway, and I’m retired now, against my will! But junk food, yum!
Wow, I wish I had that problem lol. It takes awhile for me to convince I want/need to do something. We need to figure out a way to split our opposite issues evenly between us lol
Just thinking about that burger with all the trimmings just lifted my spirits from a blah Tuesday – Thanks
Glad it helped. Now you just gotta go to Dave&Busters and try one out 🙂
I think blue cheese is its own food group!
Riiiight? So good. I could eat it everyday.
I put it on Cajun ribeye steak!
I would have scarfed that down in a heartbeat! Lol! Excellent piece.
It was so good 😀
Reading this post is like going to the store hungry. I want it, I want that burger now! Fantabulous article.
Thanks 😀 GO GET IT! lol
I used to be a rich man, richer than Steve Jobs. Then, one day, I decided to start playing The Claw Machine. 14 billion dollars later all I have to show for it is a small 4 x 4 stuffed toy. I still haven’t been able to explain to the police why I was found inside its glass booth cradling a tiny Yellow Minion—at least, not to their satisfaction, but, I GOT ONE! 😀
Aw, a Minion is worth it. Definitely worth 14 billion, even. Priorities, right?
Absolutely. CLAW OR NO CLAW! LOL 😀
You crack me up! I have a high tolerance for humor and you make me laugh!
Thanks! The feeling is mutual 🙂
You’re lucky, I can’t even lay face down anymore because of my bad neck and shoulder! Ha!! Lay on the couch bunches! All the time, if you want! 🙂
I can’t believe he can actually get something out of those claw machines. We’ve about gone broke trying to get anything at all! Ha!
Glad you’re feeling better. Bothers me that you’re having a rough time.
Ouch! That sounds terrible. I’m always impressed by his skill at the claw, too. There was a kid trying after us and he was so disappointed. Made me feel bad as I clutched my polar bear. Hey, my mental status needed it LOL. I feel better, no worries ❤
Oh no. Poor kid. Really, really, REALLY happy you’re better!
Well you are not the only one who hibernated this Easter. I spent the entire 4 days in bed with every junk food imaginable in reach without moving!
Your food choice is amazing! I would love America too if thats what I could eat at a moments notice.
Whoever criticizes you for being excited over a stuffed bear from your hubby has never gotten a stuffed bear! It is on my recommended gift list that I give people every year for presents they can give me all year round!
Hope you had an awesome Easter!
Those 4 days sound perfect lol. The problem with America IS that that type of food is available too easily haha. Would probably be better if it was hard to find. Oh well 🙂
Noooo. That’s a good thing! To get junk food in Kenya requires me to get my lazy ass out of the house cause delivery might take an hour. And even is I do go out most foods suck!
Aw… damn!
Were you also snoring and drool? Every now and then, ya just gotta have some quality sofa time. 🙂
Agreeeed. Snoring, probably 😀 I don’t think I drool though lol
That is truly my favorite yoga position right now, and I guess it speaks to my mood that the food you mentioned sounds heavenly. 🙂
It sounds like you need to go out to lunch and the arcade, too! Hope your mood improves soon 🙂
Yours is the one yoga pose I don’t mind doing over and over again.:-)
Right? It’s really the only one I CAN do lol. Not very flexible, over here 🙂
Glad to hear you’re back in the saddle again!
Thanks!
I love your deep-fat solution to life’s ills. You keep being kind to yourself, you hear?!
Thank you! I will try for sure 🙂
I think it’s funny that restaurants call them “boneless chicken wings.” You know what they are? Chicken chunks. Lol. I’m not hatin’ though–love those things! Something that literally sent a thrill up my spine the other day was when the KFC coupon booklet came in the mail and I had a moment just imagining all the combinations of items that I would get. It’s the little things!
It really is! I never thought about the fact that they are called wings when they are just random chunks haha. Interesting!
I can’t honestly say that I love American food but I understand the need for comfort food. Teddy won me a furry critter when I was over 40 and I was REALLY EXCITED! My hygiene has been less than good recently too and Mrs. Stripe was edging towards my armpit again…:)
Haha aw. Mrs. Stripe coming through for cleanup service. How nice :D.
She’s the alpha female in our house. Has to keep everything ship-shape and orderly. 🙂
I can fit WAAAAAAY more than 16 mini marshmallows in my mouth. I’m sorry to embarrass you like this on your blog, but, I can.
The ones I were using were a little old and stiff. I’m going to buy a new bag and try again lol. Do you know what your record is?
I don’t know my record, but I’m willing to step up to the challenge.
Love it
16 mini marshmallows is an impressive record. Enough to make me want to Follow and find out what other records you can break 🙂
Haha, thank you! They were a little old and hard so I’m going to try with fresh marshmallows this week. Dun dun dunn
Lol… In that case I will expect no less than a broken record 🙂
Nothing better than an adult day at the arcade. My ex boyfriend and I would often make that a day of fun, only to draw blood on air hockey (always mine, yes I am very competitive…)
Air hockey is amazing. Definitely worth some blood shed 😂
Your post made me smile. Saw your link on Spartacus/Darrell’s post and tiptoed this way. There’s absolutely no shame in basking over such little happy moments of your husband winning you a stuffed animal occurs. I posted a shameless post of shouting out love from the rooftops for my dear husband today and it felt good.
Aw, thank you 🙂 Shouting love from a rooftop… Love it. It’s the little things in life, right?
It surely is. The simple things.