hi, i exist

When I got my oil changed today the man at the counter would barely acknowledge my presence. He unwillingly listened to me while typing my information into the computer, then proceeded to thank my husband at the end of it. ‘Thank you, sir, for the information and bringing your car in today!’ (So polite, right?) Alex didn’t answer one question. Not one. What in the absolute hell is going on here? Are boobs the secret to invisibility? Did I just discover something new?

It took everything in my power to keep from springing over the counter and putting my fist to his jugular. Or, at the very least, poking him in the eye with my girly manicured fingernail. Sexist asshole.


In other news, I’ll finally be moving to my new self-hosted domain soon. I’ve been putting it off for over a month because I’m afraid to lose y’all but… it’s time. In case I do fall off the face of the Earth for a few days, you will be able to find me here: www.theshamefulsheep.com . I’ll let you guys know when it’s up and running!

164 thoughts on “hi, i exist

  1. mariegriffith says:

    I’m sorry for your experience at the oil changing place. The guy might have anxiety about talking to anyone with breasts. They can be pretty intimidating – mine aren’t because I barely have any but some can be. Anyway, wow a self-hosting website….I’d love to hear more about this. What prompted you to make the move? Is it difficult? What exactly does that mean?

  2. Marissa Bergen says:

    I’d like to say that guys like that just won’t be able to function in today’s society but obviously, the fact that he has a job is proving me wrong. Well, good luck with the ladies dude.

  3. lifevivified says:

    When I had to replace my sofa, I went to a VERY popular furniture store. I spent hours there trying every single one out. I thought I looked like a very serious customer. I was never once offered assistance, however. Finally, a male sales associate gave a perky welcome in my direction, and I thought it’s about damn time, only to realize he was talking to a couple who had walked up behind me. He was talking OVER MY HEAD at them like I was invisible, because apparently single women can’t afford to buy sofas without the help of a man. Before I left I pulled a female sales associate aside and told her that due to that experience and being ignored for the two whole hours I’d been there, I’d be taking my business elsewhere. I never stepped foot in their showroom again, and I smile every time I see my gorgeous sofa now.

  4. Otakraft says:

    Well damn, I won’t be able to read your blog at work anymore. My work’s system blocks your self-host domain for obscenity or something, I don’t know. You could lose me as a reader, but I’ll probably get all weird about checking up regularly because I’m terrible at heart. Also, that guy was an asshole and I HATE it when I’m ignored because I’m somehow not an authority because I’m female, which is what I guess this guy’s damage was.

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      My site isn’t up yet, so there wouldn’t be anything showing. Maybe that’s the problem? Unless it’s already blocked for real… I’d have to give props to your work’s firewall because my site will have plenty of obscenity soon haha.

  5. Nicole @ pink elephant on parade says:

    Good thing you had a man there to supervise. Like back when I was 5 and thought I was cashing in scratch lotto tickets on my own and the whole time my dad was just behind me telling the cashier it was ok, they were his tickets.

  6. Lady Dickson says:


    Lolz. I hate everyone.

  7. STH says:

    Oy. That sucks. I haven’t had that in a while (I have a theory that once a woman is past a certain age, men start to see her as a mom figure and treat her with a little more respect), but shopping for a car with my partner recently was interesting. He got all the “mechanical” talk from the salesman, while I got all the “look at the pretty colors it comes in!” talk. I didn’t have the energy to get pissed off about it.

  8. therealdizza says:

    Yup. I’ve decided that, sadly, as a fiftyish woman, I have discovered the “Cloak of Invisibility” in many locations! Unless the guy working the counter is fiftyish, balding and sporting a big belly. Then the fellow is putty in my hands. Sexism. Bah!

  9. shenrydafrankmann says:

    Ummmm… this is the first time that I have heard a woman complain that her boobs are invisible… unless they are but then that is a different complaint entirely.

    Maybe the guy at the counter was totally overwhelmed by your boob power, so he had to deal with the man who lays claim to the boobs. I’m just trying to help you think positive. I’m good that way.

  10. pixieannie says:

    I think the last friend of mine who did this, did disappear. I had to remember to look her up. Is there any way you can link to wordpress?

    As for the guy behind the counter…misogynistic prick. I can get one up on him. I once stopped to help a guy who had broken down, needed to pop the spare wheel on but didn’t have a clue. Twas fine, as I did and then sent him on his way. I’m the one here that deals with the cars and the filthy stuff and that’s the way it will always be. Perhaps a polite word in his ear but be careful not to suffocate him with your mammaries.

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to link it to my new one! If I have issues I’ll email you πŸ™‚ I still have your email from before! I usually deal with the car stuff too, my husband is more of a computer geek lol. I can’t change a tire though…. That’s damn impressive!

      • pixieannie says:

        Cool, thank you. I’ll teach you when I’ve finished packing and arrived, in my jammies. We can change the oil together…don’t need no pesky mechanic for that nonsense.

  11. pawsinsd says:

    I got kicked out of the auto shop I’ve gone to for years. Owner’s son tripled the price and said I threatened him and had his minion throw me out. The next day I got the same service I’d had for years at 2/3 the amount his dad had quoted years ago. My new mechanic told me my old one said “I kicked this bitch out of the place.” All because he wants to kick out female patrons to create an after-hours biker bar a block from our home. It’s enough to wake up to Harleys leaving the bars at closing time. I don’t want to hear them all night long so I wrote the Mayor and our Alderman and there is now no after-hours biker bar. Junior had our phone numbers so called our provider and had our cell phones suspended because they’d been “lost.”

    It took hours to get them back on. We changed providers because the old one didn’t require any proof to know it was fraud. I then gave him a horrible customer service review on Yelp.

    I don’t know how my dear husband did it but for about $12 per year we are still under the WP “umbrella” but as a .net so we can go anywhere we want. Check it out. Cheers and best of luck to you, Dee

  12. RunBikeThrow says:

    Regarding WordPress.com – you own your content, but they get a non-exclusive license for selective use of your posts. I refer you to the Terms of Service: https://en.wordpress.com/tos/

    Regarding female invisibility – my oldest runs into this when she has car issues. She knows more about cars than most males, including me, but gets the patronizing treatment sometimes. Drives her nuts, but when she threatens to take her business elsewhere they wise up and listen to her. I’m so proud!

  13. Justice&Humanity says:

    Hey, you have one of those, too? It’s not the tits, toots. It’s what I like to call the β€œVentriloquizing Vagina”. Oh, I know, it’s a mouthful. Certainly a lipsful. You see, the presence of pussy places pricks in a position where they practice placing their poor personalities plumb up their posteriors. This happened a lot when I ask questions about appliances, or electronics at PC Richard. Constantly. I now refuse to patronize that Place of Penile Posturing.

  14. Lulabelle-a-bloggin says:

    So another female friend of mine and I was at an outdoor festival last year when we passed by this guy selling this super strong water resistant duct tape. I guess he thought we’d be good marks, so he called us over and demonstrated it. After about the 5th time that he said a variation of the phrase “With this tape, even you girls can fix things around the house” I had to grab my friends arm and haul booty outta there because I’m pretty sure she was about to punch him square in the face. πŸ˜€

  15. Adventures in Cat Fostering says:

    Once, I was trying to buy a part for my car (my brother-in-law is a mechanic). After an argument about which was the right part (I had very specific instructions from my BIL) I was asked — wait for it — if I was sure I knew what kind of car I was driving! A young guy came in from the shop and backed me up — I was right, they (there were two of them) were wrong. They could not get out of there fast enough and left this poor kid to deal with one pissed off woman! He, on the other hand, was lovely and truly horrified when I told him what they’d asked me.

  16. Mala Burt says:

    I tried to buy a car a couple of years ago. My husband went with me but I did all the talking and was clear with the male salesman that this was MY car. He directed all of his questions to my husband and did not include me. My husband kept saying, “It’s going to be her car,” but that didn’t seem to have any effect. We walked out and I bought the same car from another dealership.

  17. Little Voice says:

    I’ve learned that it is better to just confront the person directly, explaining that I am the customer, not the man with me. It is such a habit to address the man, and the offender probably doesn’t even realize he is doing it. So….it’s my job to point out what I see as obvious.

  18. wanderwolf says:

    As long as there’s a way to subscribe, you have my permission to move domains. You’re welcome.
    And OMFG. Why is it so often a car dealership where the sexist a-holes gather? I mean, the guy-car romance is a stereotype, but can’t a guy who likes to work with cars respect and value a woman as an equal?
    I mean, if fathers would teach their daughters how to change a tire, girls would be able to do it. And other things.

  19. missjamiekaren says:

    I never had that experience, but when I owned my Mazda 3 (I have a Jeep now), the guy at Pepboys REFUSED to do a regular oil change on MY car. Mazda marks it that you should get synthetic, but I never had before (this was my second Mazda). Plus, other Pepboy locations never gave me a problem. Oh, and there is the fact that I OWN THE CAR. Like, wth? He literally was like “There is nothing I can do.” So I told him. OK, great. In that case, I will never bring any more service to Pepboys, no matter what I need, and this is the last you’ll ever see of me. So good job loosing a customer (and any other person I tell not to go there).

  20. gigglingfattie says:

    See this is why you need that social buddy!! Someone to hold down the jerk while you bunch him. Better aim and then you lower to risk of chipping that manicured nail πŸ˜‰

  21. Keith says:

    Vote with your feet and take your business elsewhere. I have a general concern with cashiers not even speaking until you speak to them. Best wishes on your new blog site.

  22. choosingmyperspective says:

    New blogger question…Am I allowed to say asshole on here?

    Anyway, I for one do not want to lose you. I just found you and totally look forward to your posts. It’s so nice to find such a delightfully irreverent, take-no-prisoners young woman!!!

  23. Lisl says:

    Imagine that as actual policy, like in Saudi Arabia. I’d want to punch someone every day!!!

    You just put a bee in my bonnet re: that self-hosting deal. I think I may have to go for it, ASAP. Looking forward to your new digs! πŸ˜€

  24. Sara McDaren says:

    You think being a woman makes you invisible? Try being a plump middle aged woman. It’s like I’m not even there.

    Good luck with the move. I’ll be able to say “I knew her when…”

  25. dunnasead.co says:

    I had the experience this week of dropping by a hairdresser, in a shopping mall, to make an appointment. So hubby, traveling with me, reminds me, politely, from a discreet distance, we have another appointment on the suggested day, and is told, in no uncertain terms, this is chickland. No roosters in the hen house. Add to that “cooking” courses for men that consist of the “seduction dinner” and the “morning after breakfast”- yup, the regular terminology in some schools, and you see why we have the invisibility problem.

  26. ameasuredlife4 says:

    My husband and I bought a new car a couple years back. He was going to drive it, so he got to pick the aesthetics and stuff, but I was in charge of the money. The salesmen would only look at him and ask him questions, then he would look at me and I would answer. Threw them for a loop, haha.

  27. girlmeetsrunning says:

    I had the same – had a man in to fix something in the flat I rented and he just talked at my partner (who didn’t love there) even when I answered all the questions/explained the issues. My partner was so embarrassed and left as soon as was polite to leave me to it so he had no choice to talk to me instead!

  28. Cotton Boll Conspiracy says:

    I would imagine you got your oil changed at a chain operation – if so, write a short letter to the corporate office detailing this clown’s idiocy. And highlight the fact that, oh, something like half of all people who drive are … women, so he’s not exactly doing wonders for business with his 1950s’ attitude. My wife probably would stuck her car key in his eye.

  29. Ally Bean says:

    What an idiot. Of course, I suppose if he’s that unobservant about who is doing the talking, then when he’s run over by accident he won’t notice who was driving…

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