embrace your inner crazy

For the love of God!  I mean… Cats! For the love of cats!

pixykitty

I’ve been trying to stay on top of my Christmas shopping this year, and I’m happy to announce: I’ve been kicking some serious ass. I’m almost done.  So, I’m pretty sure that warrants a pat on the back or something as it’s not even December yet. And a cookie. Maybe a brownie. Okay…both. I want both, damn it.

Who’s getting the most gifts from us this year? The cat. Yep, you read that right. Our pet cat. I’m not sure how or when this happened, but I’ve become one of those strange cat ladies.  The kind that has conversations with a non-verbal cat more often than with other human beings. Sometimes we share pieces of cheese together and take turns licking the same ice cream cone. (Okay, I don’t actually do that. Have you ever smelled cat breath? Blech.)  Sadly, I’m not even 30 yet. I didn’t think crazy-cat-lady syndrome could happen so early.

cattalk

So far, she will have a new cat tree, water fountain, automatic feeder, litter box, bed, blanket, and a slew of toys under the tree. I can’t wait to see the look on her face on Christmas morning when she gets to open them all.

……. We really need to have kids or something. This is getting scary. Help

adopt a cat, save your eyelids

You know those assholes that are already decorating for Christmas even though Thanksgiving hasn’t even rolled around yet? What the hell, right? Can’t we take one holiday at a time? Stop trying to shove Christmas down our throats with your pretty lights, touching TV ads and joyful music. Enough is enough already.

Well… I am one of those assholes. I love all things Christmas. The earlier the better, I always say.

My love for the holidays took a horrific turn last night, though. When a 2 inch long roach crawled out of one of the decoration boxes that we had brought in from the garage. I almost had a heart palpitation. This bitch was so big I could literally hear him crawling on the floor from 5 feet away. I panicked. Fight or flight? What do I do? Am I actually able to approach and kill this thing without gagging and throwing up everywhere? If I don’t kill it, it will for sure eat my eyelids in my sleep.
pixonabox

Then, a 6 pound hero emerged. She raced over and chomped the roach right in half and stood guard on the box until Alex got home to take over. She just may have saved my eyelids from being eaten last night. Go adopt a homeless cat. Save your eyelids, people!

bugattack

(the panic was real)

(Okay, I know she doesn’t give a crap about guarding a box for me and just wanted a tasty snack. But still — go adopt a homeless cat, anyway)

tell me something funny

I’ve been nominated for a Liebster Award. I see them floating around everywhere, and I truly have no idea what they are. What I haven’t seen around : who wins. anybody? what do I get if I win? who chooses the winner?! WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

So, I’ve decided I’m going to do a rebel-version of the award “rules” and just answer the questions. The only reason I’m doing gonna do it is because the person who nominated me is pretty awesome. She cracks me up. Go visit Sandra’s blog “what sandra thinks”  here.

Her questions were:

How many different places have you lived and which was your favorite?
I’ve lived in 7 different states  here in the US: Massachusetts, New Jersey, Connecticut, New York, Pennsylvania, Utah, and currently North Carolina. My favorite was Utah — friendly people and snow-capped mountains. Hello.
Describe yourself in 5 words or less.
My cat has her own room. (six words — but it says a lot)
Who is your hero or idol?
JK Rowling. A bit cliche, but growing up I always thought it was amazing how she could captivate an audience.
Where is your favorite place on earth?
Anywhere coffee, sweatpants, and fuzzy slippers are socially acceptable to wear all day.
What is your most-loved childhood memory?
Races with my sister to see who could poop the fastest. Kids.
What annoys you most?
When people are unwilling to see something from another’s perspective. Or anything foot related. Feet are disgusting.
If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, health concerns aside, what would it be?
Pizza or Chinese food. Not real Chinese food — the bastardized American version.
Where would you go on your perfect vacation?
A margarita and a beach is all I need.

Rather than pass it along to other people, I thought it would be fun to just ask my own question to anyone who wants to answer. I’m going to base it off my favorite question of Sandra’s.
What is your funniest childhood memory? (kid stories always make me laugh)

the feeling is mutual, Halloween

I’ve never been a big fan of Halloween. I’m pretty sure I’m flying solo on that feeling, considering everyone I know on Facebook has currently stuffed themselves into a costume that barely fits and leaves little to the imagination. (Really… some things are better left unseen, people. Don’t go in public and let your bits and pieces flop around in the breeze.)

But, this year I decided I would give Halloween a chance. I got the candy to hand out. I got the pumpkins to carve for the first time ever. And, damn… after a few hours of fishing pumpkin guts out and carving with Alex — I was proud when I set them outside.

Then, I checked on them a few days later. On top of the pumpkins being completely moldy (that’s not snow)… half of the candy is gone already, too.

halloween2015

I tried to give you a chance, Halloween… but all you’ve done so far is leave me sad and fat. I guess I should just hide inside with the lights off, peering over the flashlight like a crazy person again this year.

(Really, though… I can’t be the only one who doesn’t like Halloween… or am I truly that much of an oddball?)

Also, a note to cat owners: please, please, please make sure your black cats (or any outdoor cats) are brought inside. There are some sick assholes out there.

some tuesday trivia

Fun Fact: The FDA estimates that the average human unintentionally eats up to a pound of bugs a year.

yum… did someone say extra protein?

Also, it’s come to my attention today is National Black Cat Day in the UK. I’m from the US… but, I have a cat. She is black. So, I’m going to force y’all to look at a picture of her anyway. You’re welcome.

blackcatday

when cold medicine makes you crazy

I woke up yesterday feeling like I was upchucked by Satan… which, I can’t say I was too disappointed about. It gave me a legitimate reason to do nothing but be a lazy sack all day. Score! But, as I laid here in a mush of blankets with tissues corkscrewed into nose (sexy, eh?) I discovered two things:

  1. I never add pictures to my posts. What the hell?  That’s boring and something that needs to be changed.
  2. Too much cold medicine makes you do weird things.

So… here’s a picture of my husband trying to shove himself into a pet carrier.

petcarrier

Why, you ask? Because why the hell not.

ziggy the cat, cuddling pimp

Ziggy, our foster cat, has been dubbed the official “Pimp of Cuddling.” Of course, it didn’t take long for this guy to find a new home. He took a liking to females — whether it was human or cat.

ziggyface

He’s got more game than my husband. Okay. Not really. Shh

ziggypix2

Although I know he’s found a great home, he is missed.

ziggypix

because special needs animals need hugs too

pixtooth

Meet Pix. She’s my very sweet cat that happens to be plagued with a lot of health issues. We rescued her as a kitten from someone that had an extreme hoarding issue. The vets think starting her life surrounded by piles of trash and God knows what else had a significant impact on her health. Understandably.

Due to some intense allergies, she just about always breathes through her mouth. With one tooth hanging out. Never both. Which makes getting really cute pictures a little difficult. We’ve come to love her regardless though. Keep doing you, Pix.

Statistically, black cats (and dogs!) have a significantly lower chance of being adopted vs the other colors due to preconceived notions of them bringing people bad luck. Let me state the obvious here… this should go without saying: it isn’t true. Special needs animals are also looked over. People don’t want to take on the extra expenses or feel they don’t have the time to invest in their care. But these guys need love, too.

Don’t overlook these animals, they need and deserve all the love they can get as much as their counterparts. Just because they cost a little extra, won’t take perfect pictures for your Facebook wall, or they need extra attention doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. Give them a chance. You won’t regret it.

perks of having a cat

Cats are assholes. There’s no way around this statement — it’s the honest truth. Sure, they are soft, cute, have the most viewed videos on YouTube and have entire websites dedicated to funny pictures of them with captions. (shoutout lolcats) But don’t be fooled!

cathappy

There are many perks of having a cat. It’s all about how you look at it.

1. They can help reduce your carbon footprint by replacing your alarm clock. You’ll be woken up every morning by a cold wet nose being shoved right into your eyelid. If you’re lucky — claws may also be involved. Cock-a-doodle-doo!

2. Save time by not washing your face at night. It won’t be worth it — your cats will take it upon themselves to walk all over your pillows with dirty litter paws. Plus, this is the best place for your cat to kick a leg up and do it’s nightly tongue cleaning. Pink Eye alert!

3. Used to being totally repulsed by finding hair in your food? All over your clothes? Stuck between your toes? In your bellybutton? Get used to it. It’ll be the norm now. Start saving it up and one day you’ll have a cruelty-free fur coat.

4. Love getting massages? Good thing you have a cat. You’ll get free nightly ones. It may be when you’re in a dead sleep, and it may not be anywhere near your muscles. But your cat will do it’s best to help knead your stomach, butt, face and anywhere else that’s umcomfortable. Bonus – very sharp claws will be involved.

5. Have you ever had the urge to vent your feelings and have someone listen without passing judgment? Vent to your cat — they most likely hate you and will ingore everything so there’s no loss there.

In all reality, I love my cat. I think her “don’t give a shit” attitude is what makes me a cat-lover. We have a lot in common and I’m convinced she’s my spirit animal.