keep your curtains closed

Fun Fact: When you randomly wake up around 2-3 am there is an 80% chance someone is staring at you.

How many people will be shitting their pants tonight while trying to fall asleep? I wake up in the middle of the night almost every night, so whether this is true or not, I’m scarred. From now on, we’ll all be stuck waking up in a panic at 2 am. Peering around like lunaticssantawatchesyou with our blankets clutched to our faces and fumbling to use our phones as flashlights. There are some good times ahead, guys.

Well, it’s December. My favorite month of the year. My husband has finally agreed to shave his beard, and later in the month we all get to come together and celebrate the birth of one kickass individual. We can sing songs. Eat cookies. Drink a lot of wine. Give some gifts. It’s a day for everyone to be joyful.

Obviously… I’m talking about myself. My birthday is next week. Go get your party hats ready. (I guess Jesus’s birthday and Christmas are pretty important parts of December, too.)