vd can ruin your teen years

I think I’ve finally found a reason to like Facebook. Which is weird, considering it normally pisses me off more than having a front wedgie I can’t dig down and fix in public (you know what I mean, ladies.) I must have done something right yesterday, because I was gifted by the social media gods when my friend ‘liked’ something and it showed up in my news feed. It was a post by the most popular guy in my high school a decade ago. Let’s just say – his life didn’t turn out too pretty. (From now on, I’ll refer to him as VD, which I’m sure he has contracted multiple times by now.)

coolkids

I wasn’t popular in high school. (I know — not very shocking, right?) Not that I was one of those 18-year-olds that hid in the corner picking their nose with a Spongebob trapper-keeper clutched to my chest or anything – I hovered somewhere in the middle. I kind of just existed. Overshadowed by my two closest friends who were deemed ‘the hottest girls in the school.’ Yep. I was the token ugly friend.  And once my brother graduated and wasn’t there to scare VD anymore – he never let me forget it. I was a force invite to things just because of them and nobody wanted me there. VD made a point to remind me of it daily.

So, when his post popped up, and I was able to go to his profile, it was glorious. I don’t want to be too cruel, here, so I’m just going to say it looks like he got the shit kicked out of him by life. He had a picture posted of his friends surrounding him in a bar, each one much more attractive. He was the ugly friend. He got demoted to the DUFF. How blissfully ironic. Karma’s a bitch, VD. 

Thanks, Life. I owe you one. 

(I actually debated even posting this because it might make me sound like a bitch. I don’t ever judge people on appearance and despise people that do. But that’s what he did to me and it caused a lot of anxiety when I was young. So fuck it. And fuck him.)

don’t be an ass in public, guys

People:
If you feel the need to berate and make an employee cry just because their store doesn’t carry your beloved organic, sugar-free, no-crap-added cranberry juice you deserve to have your ass kicked. Seriously. Aren’t there more pressing things going on in your life than juice? If not, kudos to you. But come on, guys… it doesn’t cost anything to not be a dick to strangers. Or to walk your ass to the other end of the shopping center and go to Trader Joe’s. The majority of us don’t enjoy making or watching other people cry in public, so get your shit straight or order your stuff online and stay home. It’d be appreciated.

Love,
The Public At Large