what the hell, guys?

I only started this blog at the end of September, so my ‘year in review’ is, well… pretty damn dismal. (Actually, WP never even sent me one. Screw those monkeys for leaving me out. It’s middle school all over again.) The best thing about my stats since I’ve started blogging is -by far- the search terms people have used and landed on my site.

Let’s take a look at a few of these gems:
“i married a man that farts all the time”
“woke up to my dog humping my head”
“sheep sex”
“my husband is mean when he takes cold medicine”
“will Petco neuter my rat?”

I’m speechless, guys. No words. What’s worse — the deranged things people search for, or the fact the results link to my blog. Either way, it’s insanity.

crazyandoffensive

Thanks for hanging out in 2015, friends. Thanks for sticking by when I talk about some pretty inappropriate things, drop too many swears, and get a little pun-heavy. Stay safe tonight, and don’t forget to wear your diaper.

a question of sanity

Fun Fact: Some people wear adult diapers in NYC on New Year’s Eve to accommodate for the big crowd and lack of available bathrooms.

Guys… I don’t even know what to say here. Why would you choose to stroll around in your own urine all night? Do you really want to hug and embrace your loved one, plant a kiss under the fireworks, and ring in the new year with a hot loaded diaper sagging down your skinny jeans? This may sound pretty romantic to some, but this isn’t my idea of a great start to the year. If it’s yours, well… more power to you, I guess. (Not really. Y’all are pretty weird.)

nye-nyc

Would you soil yourself for the opportunity to spend NYE in Times Square? Have you done this already?! I’m afraid to know the truth, but the curiosity is killing me.