everything is better with peanut butter

I love food. Not in a ‘oh, this salmon was grilled to perfection’ type of way, more like – ‘I’m going to smother a pan of brownies in melted peanut butter and whip cream and stuff half of it down my gob in one sitting’ type of way. Okay, that might be a bit extreme… but you get the picture. When I heard my favorite grocery store from New York was looking for a place to set roots here in North Carolina, my eyes got a little misty. Then I heard that location might be within 15 miles of my house which made me get mistier in other places. (What can I say? I’m easy to please.) I can’t help but daydream about it coming this way. Mmm Wegmans, you sexy bitch.

eat-it-bitch-asshole-cat-meme

Seriously, is this what my life is now? Getting excited over a 50% chance that a store might open? It used to take a milestone like, you know, getting married or killing a King-Size Reese’s Cup pack without anyone judging me . What’s happening here? Am I getting old? Boring? Predictable?  Hold me.

On another note: Panthers play today. Go out and do your good-luck dance. Eat your game-ritual Cheetos. Put on your lucky boxers. They need to win. If you don’t like the Panthers – eat a dick. (I don’t really mean that. Unless you are into that sort of thing.) 

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116 thoughts on “everything is better with peanut butter

  1. Justice&Humanity says:

    I don’t know. Everything? It is so hard to really make sure you get the sticky stuff out of certain places, and if you like chunky . . . well, I love nuts in certain places, but not if they overstay their welcome. And it doesn’t go well with people who are allergic. Unless you truly hate them.

  2. 8m33 says:

    we had a friend living with us for a while when he got divorced. he said ” all you two do is talk about food.” well DUH it is important to us! He had zero appetite. Somehow he managed to subsist on black coffee, bottles of Coca-cola and cigarettes. Yes, he was skinny.

  3. 8m33 says:

    I used to occasionally (I mean like 3 times a year) enjoy a Subway sandwich. Then I watched this travel/cooking show & they featured about 5 old timey delis in NYC. I was drooling. All the special touches on grinders, special pickles, sauces, etc. I wish we had that here. Now I am no longer interested in Subway ham-n-cheese on whole wheat

  4. 8m33 says:

    got really really excited 2 mins ago when saw 1 new email rolled into my Yahoo. I knew some other writers were getting April contracts for their True Confession stories. I have 5 in the pipeline now. I just knew it was an editor saying “I want your story on “I got pregnant with quints by Big Foot on a Sunday school picnic.” But sigh, it was the Shameful Sheep posting. However, I love reading your blog. You should be on talk radio. Or at least a guest on Howard Stern.

  5. George says:

    Wegman’s is worth getting misty about, whenever and wherever….:) They’re that good, especially their cafe. But getting your hopes up and then finding out something happened to change the pans would be cruel. I hope it works out.

  6. cirtnecce says:

    I am soooooooo gllllllaaaaadddddd to know I am not only the one getting worked up (in a Santa came early this year way) about grocery stores and their food collections. 🙂

  7. G says:

    We have a Wegman’s up the road and I STILL get excited about going shopping there. So does everyone else, apparently. The place is a total shitshow even on a Tuesday afternoon. 🙂

  8. The Good Greatsby says:

    I’ve lived abroad for a long time and a large percentage of expatriate conversations revolve around rumors of a grocery store two towns away that might sell Captain Crunch or the potential opening of a Krispy Kreme.

  9. elizabetcetera says:

    Never heard of Wegmans in my life … looked at the photos online w/ Google search. Looks nice!

    So many people are in LOVE w/ Trader Joe’s … OVERRATED IMO! Everything is packaged, pretty much everything. Not as fresh as I like stuff, but there are interesting things to be found at Trader’s Joe’s … and I don’t fall for “two buck chuck” wine … although it costs only $2, it tastes less than 50 cents!

    When I went to Seattle not long ago, I fell in love with Metropolitan Market. That place is awesome sauce double-dipped in peanut butter … not penis butter … peanut! http://metropolitan-market.com/home.php?

    Whole Paycheck … I mean Whole Foods is what we have in my neck of the woods and while I like it for the most part IT’S EFFIN’ EXPENSIVE!

    My grocery store that I love so much BY FAR is Central Market … the best place ever! I dream about quitting my job and working there: http://www.centralmarket.com/Home … and then I come back to reality and realize I probably wouldn’t be able to afford to shop where I worked, and continue to keep my current job.

    So, I here ya sister girl when you say you love your store! ❤

  10. Kaitlyn says:

    Yessssss. Two new stores were opening by my house and the thing my friends and I talked about most we’re how much we hoped it was going to be a costco. Really?!?! Thats what we wanted to talk about? Yes. Yes it was lol. Crossing my fingers for you! 😉

  11. Worlds Biggest Fridge Magnet says:

    I know I am based in the UK so our stores are a little different to yours but although we have a Waitrose in my town (my favourite food store) I wish it was a big one with more choices.
    For now though I am happy enough though.
    Hope you are happy with the drubbing your Panthers handed out to them pesky Cardinals…😜

  12. Lady Dickson says:

    If you’re old, boring and predictable, I think we all are.

    I’ll definitely be cheering for the Panthers since the Broncos kicked my team to the curb which I am still crying over. I reiterate your “hold me” statement.

  13. helbergfarmstories says:

    Too bad so sad guys/gals! Broncos are going to the 50th – woo hoo – LOL OK, so I am not really a huge sports fan (our older sister and most of our friends are – we have better things to do – hee hee). Our Sundays get spent in gardens and greenhouses and crafting and knitting (you get the pic)….but, I have to agree with Blair here – when it comes to really good food – get out of my way. Oh, did I mention that my younger sister (we share the farm and yes I am the middle kid – ouch another strike – LOL) is a Bake-a-holic?! Yep – and she is always saying “taste this and tell me what you think?” – my response when it is really good: “its awful guess it has to stay here” – then she knows its worth sharing – darn it, she’s caught on!! LOL

  14. Marie Anne says:

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! Never been to a Wegman’s, but I’ve heard good things. I’ve always gone to Trader Joe’s. And peanut butter on brownies… mmmm… Although, I’d probably eat the batter out of the bowl and peanut butter out of the jar before it ever got to that point, lol.

  15. AmyRose🌹 says:

    Um do I dare say that I have a Wee man’s right down the street from me? Oh I am the lucky girl! As for the Panthers … Family is from down thereabouts and they are NUTS over Panthers. Love peanut butter but not nuts over football. Sorry.

  16. James Elizabeth says:

    Oh how I do love Wegman’s….we have one here in Patriot’s nation now. I should have gone there for some peanut butter and brownies….probably would have made yesterday’s game a bit more bearable.

  17. momtheobscure says:

    Ha ha! I love peanut butter too! I remember when I was a teenager, my Mom’s friend called her to tell her a new Waldbaum’s (NYC supermarket) was opening and hearing her get all excited I rolled my eyes, shook my head and laughed at her for being so lame. Now, 30 years later I’m all into supermarkets and grocery stores. I can’t go into Wegmans though, with my ADhD I get overstimulated, end up hungry and dizzy, eat at their cafe and walk out a day later with everything but what I went in there for!
    The panthers are on fire!

  18. lifevivified says:

    The only reason I keep my ft job is because it’s right across the street from one of the few Weggie’s in the area. I almost cried with relief when it opened. Team Wegmans!

  19. pixieannie says:

    Wegmans? I’m ignorant.

    As for food…Today I think I have worms, huge tape worms. I think this because I have mostly been a greedy fucker in ways that make me feel slightly nauseous. I’ve eaten 7 meals (possibly more) and in between those meals, I’ve eaten again. I’m still not satiated and am about to do something with double cream that will make your eyes water. It’s amazing how far a tub can go…as long as I can get most of it in my mouth, I should be ok. I’m having a secret love affair, with a jar of almond butter…actually, it’s more of a polyamorous type affair as I have 3 on the go at any one time. I like to dip my finger into many jars of yummy goodness. Probably ought to go now.

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      Wegmans is an amazing grocery store that’s only here in the northeast US. I wouldn’t say you’re ignorant! A lot of Americans don’t know what it is either 🙂 Go get your worm checked haha. I LOVE almond butter. Holy crap. On apples = to die for

  20. Lisl says:

    OMG I know what you mean about loving a store!! On the east Coast they have this grocery called Shop Rite, and I love it so much. Their bags, first of all, are YELLOW!!! And they rock! I mean, you can put a super size can of fruit in one and it won’t break through the bottom and land on your toes. 😀 They are so thick you can use a few of them instead of peanuts when sending gifts through the mail. 😀

    OK, so they also have this loaf of Russian black bread–it’s Shop Rite brand even–and it’s so good. Usually supermarket bread is just not that good*, but this is awesome! (If they still have it; it’s been years since I’ve been to the East Coast.)

    *Exception: Dave’s Killer!!! 😀

      • Lisl says:

        Oh you should see if there is one within a reasonable or unreasonable distance from you and check it out! I remember it as being so colorful and cheery and the fruit and veggie section nearly blinded me. 😛

        If you like Rye bread you may like this–it’s much darker and with the same sort of consistency. I love it with tuna salad and dipped into tomato soup (homemade!). And I love to take the crust off, fold it and bite into it. A tactile dream! 😀

  21. Dennis the Vizsla says:

    hello shameful sheep its dennis the vizsla dog hay troo storry!!! their is a restawrant owt heer wot servs a hamburger with peanut butter on it they call it the rory for sum reezon!!! my dada has had it he sez it taysts just like yoo wood ekspekt a hamburger with peanut butter on it to tayst like!!! ha ha ok bye

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