Has there ever been a period of time when you stop and think ‘hey, life is pretty perfect right now.’ You’re fitting into your favorite jeans, you just found out your arch enemy was arrested for public indecency, and, hell… for the first Christmas in years, money isn’t an issue. You’re shocked, grateful, and there’s no possible way to love life more than you do in this very moment. Then, not even a day later, a hot and sticky shit-storm rains all over your head and snaps you back into reality. Life is never that easy. Don’t ever think that. C’mon, now.
Things in my life were pretty damn awesome until I hit Saturday. I was deep into my final Christmas shopping trip in the mall, when I noticed I had toilet paper stuck to my shoe from an hour earlier. When it was time to leave, and I backed out of my parking spot, my entire front bumper got ripped off my car. (Yes, I’m the dumbass who pulled up too far over the curb.) Then, after I had a minor major meltdown in the parking lot and finally made it home, Alex pointed out that there was white goop crusted above my lip from my beloved Starbucks drink. It wasn’t pretty, folks.
Sunday – I woke up sick.
Just remember — you are at the mercy of god/fate/karma/whatever you believe in. You’re their bitch, and they won’t be shy to knock you down a few pegs when needed. Never get too comfortable. It goes just as fast as it comes
The Shameful Sheep 
Yeah. Life – always willing to take you swimming in a cess pool just because – Hey why not?
Exaaactly!
Yes Ma’am. We do well to stay humble and paranoid 😉
Yeap I believe in karma …… And some day soon it’s going to bite me hard . Owwwww
At least you are prepared 🙂
I apologise for finding this so funny. You never cease to make me laugh. I’ve experienced the toilet roll thingy.
The other day when I was trying out beds in a well known department store. I was politely informed that my dress was no longing covering my behind. I was thankful for my woollen leggings and even more thankful that they were not opaque.
Hahaha. That could have been incredibly embarrassing. Hilarious… but embarrassing
They were smiling. I smiled back and pretended not to notice. It could have been so much worse and at least my arse is mostly presentable.
Of course they were smiling haha. They got a show! Hey, it’s times like these these working your ass off in the gym pays off 🙂
Talking about my ass. It’s going on strike, along with my legs.
Doesn’t get enough credit or pay? Underappreciated? Haha
I’ve just written a post but now you ask, yes and no. Pain…. lots and lots of it. Do you fancy taking a bit? Of pain, not my ass.
OH yes, I fancy it quite a bit lol
Which one, or both? Sorry, couldn’t resist.
I’m not going to choose, and let the mystery remain! Lol
Either would be good. Now that sounds wrong, or maybe right, or possibly both.
At the same time.
Bwahahahaha! I’ve never seen that e-card before buy oh my god is it perfect.
Sorry to hear (read) that you had a crummy day, but just like you said, it goes as fast as it comes. Without the downs we wouldn’t ever notice when we have ups.
Sending warm, fuzzy vibes your way. At cat pictures, because those make everything better. : D
http://polyv.re/1QCOkQb
You are 100% right. The downs make the ups even more enjoyable while they last. I mean, it’s not like something terrible happened to me that can’t be remedied. I’m just dramatic sometimes lol. Cats (and their pictures) always make things better! Thanks 🙂
Aw, Man. Did I miss the post about your arch enemy being arrested for public indecency? How cool is it that you have an arch enemy, though!
I could be compared to Batman, really. I haven’t posted about that… Maybe I should!
Uh oh. Are you an orphan? Or do you secretly run a billion dollar company? Or are you not wearing hockey pads? Also, yes. You certainly should.
I wish I secretly had a billion dollar company. Blair Enterprises.
Ha. Thats awfully conceited of you to name your billion dollar company after your first name. Are you not going to pass it on to your children?
Nah, they can build their own.
Any time things are running smoothly I always think of it as a temporary situation. Sad but true!
It’s better to think about it like that in a way. At least you won’t be blindsided. Sad it always has to turn to shit.
Sounds like my life but different experiences!
The storm can’t be escaped!
Yup, I sail through days thinking I look GOOD only to find out that my zipper was unzipped or I have spinach in my teeth or my shirt is on inside out. At least I can laugh about how pride goeth before a fall…
I hate when that happens lol
But remember: it could always be worse…. 🙂
Definitely true! Luckily everything that happened to me is easily fixable 🙂
Sometimes I must remind myself this!
I absolutely despise both going and coming too fast. Hot and sticky indeed. Or at least warm and goopy. Life, that is. Potential life?
I despise those too. Sucks, really lol
Hope your week gets better!
Thank you 🙂
On the other hand, if you can look at all of that shit, realize it too will pass, and the good times will be back again… well then you’ve really got something, no?
Very true lol
Sorry about your tough time chica. That sucks.
Thanks 🙂 It really could be worse. It’s all pretty trivial things lol
Yep, but it sucks when you’re sitting in it. I know.
That’s a pretty bad day by anyone’s standard. So things got better I hope?..:)
I’m still getting over being sick, but I haven’t really gone anywhere since that crap-filled day. Didn’t wanna chance it lol
Ha! Just posted my own holiday shit storm.
Yours is quite the literal shit storm
😦 so true. But less stressful than car related shit.
Totally agree. I’m at the point now where I can’t even enjoy a good day because I know what goes up must come down. Yin-yang.
It always does, unfortunately. Still try to enjoy them when they happen, though! 🙂
Oh no. Hope you feel better soon! Sending get well wishes! PS sorry about your car. And, your lip. How embarrassing. Ha!!
Thank you 🙂 lol it was mortifying! Damn whip cream
But, the whip cream is soooo good! Worth it. 🙂 Sometimes I want to go to Dairy Queen and just order a cup of it and forget the ice cream. Yum! 🙂
I couldn’t leave a blizzard behind! Mmmm
Good point! 🍨
I’ve never ever ever had my act together! Ever. Ever. Never. You just described pretty much my every day life! Lol!
Oh god… That sucks! Haha
Sucks
Far out, I feel for you, I really do. Hope you’re starting to feel better. Things will pick up soon. I try not to get too complacent about anything cos you just never know what’s around the corner. Take care out there!
Thanks Miriam 🙂
Haha…Same pinch. few days back, I was planning for a vacation around new year but today, some totally unexpected expenditures visited me.
all goody goody feelings said bye bye, I don’t know when they’ll come back and for how long?
I hope they come back soon! Hopefully you can still enjoy your vacation if you are able to go. Seems like you may need it. 🙂 sad how it can change so fast
Yeah definitely. Only it had to be rescheduled and re-budgeted :).
Life’s piece of shit, when you look at at so when you’re chewing on life’s grizzle don’t grumble give a whistle and this’ll help things turn out for the best…..
Always look on the bright side of life…
Unless of course you have toilet paper on your shoe, Starbuck’s around your mouth and have left your bumper on the curb….
After this Blair, things can ONLY get better!!
Haha true. I have a feeling things will be on the upswing today. Phew.
Things can only get better….!
May the wheel of fortune turn once more … and best wishes for the rest of Christmas and the new year
Thank you. I hope your Christmas and the start of the new year is a smooth and happy one, too 🙂
Oh fuck. Well, it happens to the best of us I suppose. I was in a rush to pull out of my driveway in the middle of winter. I needed to let my husband get his car out, so I left my door open while I backed out of the driveway…This is winter…in Canada…the snowbanks aren’t made of snow, they’re made of ice! So I back up, the ice bank hits the door and pushes the door forward, bending it permanently open…the outside handle is now next to my front tire. That was a shitty day, and I felt like an utter douche bag.
Oh man that sucks. I hope you had a garage to park in. It’s so much worse when it’s an obvious mistake you made. Face-Palm!
You’re not alone in the minor/major meltdown experiences. The holidays bring it out in me also. Good luck keeping the coffee drink whip cream off your lips in the future…The struggle is real. : )
Haha it is. First world problems
Heh heh, at least you didn’t wrap your new (second-hand) car around a concrete pillar at work because you’re not used to power steering and the longer car. Not only that but the boss had to help me move it. It’s taken me a long time to live that one down! Here’s my animals trying to cheer me up: http://carolynswriting.com/2015/12/20/happy-holidays/ Have a good one 🙂
Wow. That’s true! Glad you’re okay. Your pets are so cute 🙂 they’d cheer me up too
Thank you! It wasn’t a bad accident, just me trying not to scrape the car parked on one side but getting too close to the pillar on the other, oops 😉
Too much bad luck for one day, hope you had some good ones since then.
Thank you 🙂 it’s gotten much better since then
Too true. -_-“
Well said! At least you can laugh about it now. And entertain all of us and remind us of our shitty, sticky life experiences, too. It’s a crazy rollercoaster, eh?
It definitely is!
Nothing bad ever happens to writers… Its all material
That’s very true, actually lol
Hope your Christmas was better 🙂
Oh do I know this. I remember when I finally had a string of good luck with a promotion at work, some time off and I foolishly thought that I was on an uptick. Oh the Cosmic forces realigned real quick to remind me that my fate was their whim. I feel you.
It really sucks when it happens. Such a slap in the face lol