put your pants troll away

catvshumansSometimes it’s completely justifiable to drink wine straight from the bottle and spend the day on the couch hiding under a pile of cats. Maybe even necessary. Doctors really should prescribe things like that. Of course, issues might arise if you don’t have a cat, but you could always just borrow your neighbor’s. Forget what the Bible said – get over there and covet your neighbor’s pussy. Guaranteed to make everyone involved feel better. Just what the doctor ordered.

This weekend has been dubbed sit-on-your-ass-and-do-nothing in my house. After a stressful week of news and various appointments, we think we are owed a relaxing weekend. Plus, I’m an adult. I can do whatever the hell I want, right? Cinnamon rolls for breakfast? Yes, please. A full pint of Ben & Jerry’s for lunch? Don’t mind if I do. Laying on the couch and catching up on 8 hours of recorded TV? Well, if you insist. You’re so kind. This is what successful adulting is all about, folks. Screw everything else.

I’m in the market for some new TV shows to get addicted to. I normally stick to the same ones, but I’m trying to expand my horizons. Anything on Netflix y’all recommend? Hulu? Regular TV? I like anything as long as it goes well with wine.

PS – Does anyone else get seriously bothered by the whole ‘Netflix & chill” saying? I don’t like being interrupted. I take that shit seriously. If I was single and someone invited me over with that prompt, I’d be pissed as hell when they whipped out their pants troll. Put that shit away. ALADDIN IS ON. What in the actual fuck?

I hope y’all have a relaxing weekend.

173 thoughts on “put your pants troll away

  1. Marissa Bergen says:

    Sounds like a good weekend to me. Of course kids always get in the way of that but I try to indulge them on plenty of chocolate cake for breakfast and stuff like that.
    I only watch regular old TV and occasionally some cable.I love Impractical Jokers (cable) and also The Goldbergs, The Middle, Fresh Off The Boat and Moms.

  2. Rising Hawk says:

    “Mozart in the Jungle” if you have Amazon Prime. $99/year. Love that show – there’s two seasons of it right now. “Lucifer” on regular TV is very good, but only a couple of episodes in. Love “The Blacklist,” and it is on Netflix I believe. Cheers!

  3. Jay E. says:

    You weekend sounds a lot like what I have planned for mine. Netflix recommendations (i.e. what I’m currently watching: Walking Dead, Person of Interest, Highway thru Hell (a tow truck reality show)

  4. theycallmetater says:

    I think I might have used up all of my “do nothing” weekends while my wife was busy enough at work to not care. She is done with her audit now, so I think I will have to get off the couch now. Also, I have to work on Sunday. You should feel sorry for me.

    Shows on Netflix – Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Master of None, iZombie, Flash

  5. Melissa says:

    Walking Dead, Jericho (one season and got cancelled but they wrapped it up), Veronica Mars, Last Ship, Falling Skies (apocalypse and science fiction tend to be my favorites), we are re-watching all of MASH and Xena right now (MASH at bedtime, Xena in the morning before dragging our butts out of bed), Chopped, Top Chef, Master Chef (we love competitive cooking shows), agreed about Blacklist, Episodes (laugh until you cry funny), 30 Rock, Manhattan. That should get you going.

  6. Miriam says:

    Hey Blair, sounds like my kind of weekend. I’m doing the same! Here in Melbourne its getting onto 10 in the morning and I’m still in bed. And tonight is movie and pizza night Time out this weekend! Let’s enjoy.

  7. Fny says:

    Battlestar Galactica, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, Firefly… aaah there are too many good series to recommend but that’s a start!

  8. gigglingfattie says:

    I can not pass up a chance to recommend “Bluestone 42” to anyone!!! All the episodes are on youtube and it’s a British comedy. But from what I have read on your blog, I feel like you are the right kind of crazy to really love this show!!

    Enjoy your well deserved weekend!! That seems to be my weekend plans every weekend lately. But today I’ve venturing out in search of an English speaking manicurist to fix my ugly nails lol

  9. Justice&Humanity says:

    Let me just say, for the record, all of you who have cats, I covet your pussy. All the time. When I’m awake. When I’m asleep. When I’m in between. I miss pussy on my chest, pussy on my shoulders, pussy kneading my body, pussy conversing with me in soft, rolling rumbles of pleasure.

  10. heretherebespiders says:

    Damn you to hell for reminding me about cinnamon rolls. Of COURSE they are breakfast food! Not that I’ve had one in 11 years. Dammit, Ireland.
    I need a lie-in as well. I’m thinking a long hot bath, it’s been too long. And if the cats wake me up early tomorrow? They may not like my reaction.

  11. Karina Pinella says:

    The only series I recommend is actually in AMC and/or Netflix for the first season if you didn’t catch it, and that is Better Call Saul, a spinoff from Breaking Bad, an excellent series. I’m sure you’ve heard or read enough rave reviews. If you don’t feel like watching five seasons’ worth of Breaking Bad, then try Better Call Saul. Good writing, interesting, and fun characters. Also, the main character works at Cinnabon, so is that an omen, or what?

  12. allthoughtswork says:

    I’d like to rent the pile of cats. Tell them I have tuna. And an electric blanket.

    Check out Dirty Jobs With Mike Rowe on You Tube. I always seem to watch five more episodes than I intended to. Might be the voice. And the chest.

      • allthoughtswork says:

        There’s a cat lounge here in Portland. Yes, you read that right.

        You can grab a coffee or glass of wine at the bar and then go into a lounge area full of playing, exploring, and napping cats that are available for adoption. I’ve sewn and donated multiple toys, beds, and cushions for them.

        The only downside is that the cats are usually over-stimulated from all the people around and they hide a lot. You can’t reenact the Pile-o-Cats scenario there. In four visits, I’ve only been able to hold one cat. So, I stopped going. But it’s probably an introvert’s dream.


  13. Keith says:

    Blair, enjoy crashing beneath the felines. The best thing about being an adult is eating leftover dinner for breakfast. Mac and cheese, great. Lasagna, even better. Throw cheese in last night’s rice, beautiful. I hope you find your new show to binge on. Don’t forget to move every couple of hours. Keith

  14. Julie Holmes, author says:

    Firefly! Grimm! I’m enjoying Lucifer–they’re able to walk that fine line between Lucifer as a total egomaniacal ass and an oddly charming ass.

    Have you checked out Justified? I like that better than SOA. (not to mention Timothy Olyphant). Deadwood is good as well (and not just because of Tim O), if you can stomach the near constant swearing.

      • George says:

        As you might imagine there were a lot of different feelings during the documentary. Some things just don’t add up, some make me shake my head and some make me scream WTF just happened. I agree with what one of his lawyers said at the end. I hope he did it because if he didn’t, the fact that this guy has spent another ten years in jail for a crime he didn’t commit would be too difficult to understand or accept.

      • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

        I agree. I felt bad the entire time because I felt like they were being picked on (Steven and Brendan) because they were, well… slow. It was painful to watch. I hope he did it too. The whole thing was beyond weird. I hope one day we find out the truth

  15. joey says:

    I agree with your take on Netflix & Chill.
    How about House of Cards? OMG so good!
    I needed this week to be like yours, but I didn’t know, so I peopled and adulted and lifed and it was awful.

  16. Mike M says:

    Just powered though the first few seasons of House of Cards..all ready for the season 4 premier in about about a week. Hope your weekend of doing nothing is everything you hope it can be (yay Office Space!).

  17. Lulabelle-a-bloggin says:

    Our favorites on Hulu include Fresh Off The Boat (We have asian friends who swear by its scary accuracy) and The Middle. I’m going through Law and Order SVU at the moment. Oh HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER is AAMAZING (and I don’t know why I yelled that, sorry 😛 )

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      That’s hilarious… I love Fresh Off The Boat and my husband and I have been watching it since it started. I always thought it was over exaggerated though haha. I love that your friends said it was pretty accurate. HTGAWM is the type of show I love. I gotta hunt that one down!

  18. Rosie Scribblah says:

    Pants troll Bwahahahaaahhha 😁 first time I heard that lol. Have you seen the Scandi Noir dramas coming out of Scandinavia? Borgen, The Bridge, Trapped. Also Danish period drama 1864, Les Revenants – a French zombie series with a twist, Deutschland 83 from Germany and Hinterland from Wales.

  19. spartacus2030 says:

    I suffer miserable agony with true love! My cat demands gluttony (One of your 7 deadlies…). I must be constanly vigulant he doesn’t start gnawing on my leg while I sleep! Seen any good movies lately? Any new Vampire flicks? I’ll take mosquitoes… Anything that sucks blood… I’m trying to watch that movie ‘Focus’ but Pay-Per-view doesn’t like me 😦

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      I haven’t seen any good movies lately. Only Deadpool lol. And I really only liked it for its vulgarity 😀 I’m more of a TV fan than movie. I like wasting hours of my life on something, so movies are usually too short for my liking haha

  20. Siena Says says:

    I have been on a total teenfest watching Pretty Little Liars, completely unrealistic but strangely compelling. Loved Making a Murderer too. Netflix and Chill yep I would be gutted if that’s what someone really meant…

    • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

      I love both of those shows. PLL is so far fetched/drawn out but I’ve been watching it since it started and can’t stop. Yep… I’m 29 but still love it. I even make my husband watch it with me every Tuesday. (He kind of likes it too ha!)

  21. shenrydafrankmann says:

    I really liked Dexter, watched most of the seasons. My family wouldn’t watch it with it, probably because it’s not a family show. I had a terrible crush on the whack job pyro girlfriend that he had for a while on the show. That kept me interested. The show has a sick yet stable twist to it.

    The only thing about binge watching with a cat is that a cat gets jealous after a while, does everything he can to steal your attention. Mine starts by travelling across my chest, stopping with his cat butt in my face each time. Usually he settles in on my lap or curls up on the cushion next to my head.

  22. perfectpanicky says:

    Not only is your first sentence a great quote in MY opinion, I shared it with my husband, who was standing in his underwear taking his first sip of coffee of the day, and he just…nodded…repeatedly…which was the best reaction ever, but maybe you had to be there. 🙂

  23. brooke says:

    I’m looking forward to a four day weekend! Part of it will be doing nothing, but instead of cats I have three dogs. And two teenagers. And a husband. Sometimes they all try to get into the bed with me to watch TV. Maybe I should trade them in for some cats. Right now I’m hooked on Nurse Jackie. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a great show.

  24. kstewand4cats says:

    Applied cats liberally and watched 3 back to back DVRed episodes of American Horror Story’s latest season. I knew I shouldn’t but they were giving good back stories! Had some fucked up dreams Friday night. 😦

  25. Warrior Freya says:

    I want to know what “I want to have sex,” means in modern society now, since apparently we’re too fucked up to actually come out and say what we want. I’m of the same mindset. If I went over somewhere and “Netflix and chill” turned into sexy time I would call them out on false advertising. “Dude, that is not what was agreed to.”

  26. Iris and The Very Hungry Entourage says:

    So happy to read your blog…. Very funny, and you certainly capture my feelings/frustrations/joys in many of your posts. Maybe we will share same tastes in TV. Current addiction – Catastrophe. Enjoyed Master of None. Leftovers is my favorite. And I do confess, even seasons later, I can’t tear my eyes away from The Walking Dead.

  27. bg says:

    Second chance is good,slightly funny cop show. Lucifer if another cop show but fun and then if you haven’t u must watch Luther . Enjoy the couch surfing 🙂

  28. elizabetcetera says:

    Oh, you have asked a mother load of a question!

    Do you have BOTH streaming and mail Netflix?


    1) Street Food Around the World
    2) Cooked (by Michael Pollan)
    3) Chelsea Does


    1) Somm
    2) Blue Jasmine
    3) The Book Thief
    4) Cake
    5) Dallas Buyer’s Club
    6) Dexter (could be on streaming by now, don’t know)
    7) An Education
    8) Ex Machina
    9) The Grand Budapest Motel
    10) The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
    11) Last Love
    12) The Lunchbox
    13) Maria Full of Grace
    14) Philomena
    15) Shutter Island
    16) What Maisie Knew
    17) We Need to Talk About Kevin
    18) Winter’s Bone
    19) Wild
    20) You Will Be My Son (French)
    21) Game of Thrones (duh …)

    Don’t know if you’ve seen any of these, but I enjoyed all of them (of course) … some are gritty … don’t know what kind of genre floats your boat. I love thrillers especially.

    Sorry, not so many recommendations on the streaming side … I do have a lot more there too.

    Have fun! 🙂

      • elizabetcetera says:

        Oh, oh, oh, I forgot to recommend BLACKFISH! You HAVE to see this film if you have not. S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y.!!!!

        Cannot believe you haven’t seen ANY of those recommendations. MIND BLOWN. Anyway, I hope you find time to watch some (thinks ALL) and that you enjoy them. I gave you the ones I liked the best and of course, I don’t know you in person … so could just be a crap shoot.

        You can also put the names to http://www.rottentomatoes.com to see how THEY have reviewed the movies. I usually queue my movies from best to worst, in case I die then at least I will have watch the top ones on my list first. I’m not planning on dying anytime soon … it’s just a joke. 😉

      • Blair (The Shameful Sheep) says:

        Oh, I’ve seen a bunch of the things you recommended by mail, just not the 3 top ones you said about streaming haha. I don’t live under a rock! Well, I kinda do. But not when it comes to TV/movies :DI haven’t seen Blackfish though. I’m on it!

  29. Kris says:

    Nothing wrong with wine or cats. I usually match my wine count with the number of cats I own which is 3. Whether it’s glasses or bottles depends on how good/bad my week was.

    I love Vikings. It’s on Hulu.

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