eat my damn bread, ducks

I went on a jog today. I use that word loosely, considering I do more of an uncomfortable and frantic waddle… like my nether-region fell asleep after sitting on a bicycle too long.  (Seriously… how do cyclists handle it?) But, I love that it’s getting cooler out, so I figured I’d just put my big girl panties on and get to it.

On the neighborhood paths around here there are always ducks, making it a priority for me to stuff bread into my pockets before I head out. I truly enjoy when I get to feed the ducks. It’s pretty embarrassing because it’s always me… surrounded by a bunch of toddlers. Usually, I sit and wait for people to leave, but today I was in a time crunch so I weaseled my way right in front of them. Hell, it’s not like they are going to remember it this one time, anyway. Nobody remembers shit from when they were 3.

But when I got to them they completely ignored me and my bread. What the hell? This leads me to an important question: since dogs can sense when someone is upset, is it possible ducks can sense when someone is crazy?

I’m thinking yes. I should probably just leave it to the kids from now on.


37 thoughts on “eat my damn bread, ducks

  1. cb says:

    I have NEVER had ducks refuse bread. I have stories about ducks flash-mobbing me on the expectation of getting bread. Those ducks must have been fed to bursting by someone else earlier.

  2. bgddyjim says:

    How we handle it: Those saddles look hard, and they are… We have padding in those cycling shorts that makes it a little more bearable. Then, our bikes are meticulously picked for size and set up to the nearest millimeter for fit… It all fits better than a fine leather glove when it’s all said and done. It does not, in any way, hurt once you get a few hundred miles in (over the course of a couple of weeks). I rode my bike 7,000 miles this year. 😉

  3. Lady CAS says:

    OMG I’m in tears, you trying to force feed ducks and then then side-eyeing you because they think you’re nuts which usually birds (usually pigeons and nutty people go hand in hand) according to all the lovely stereotypes right! I love how they do that! But the thought of you actually doing it, LOL!

  4. Bonnie Feingold says:

    You liked my blog post on my cat Penelope today, so I came to your site to see what you have to say. After just reading one post and your About page, I know I love your sense of humor. I’ll ber eading more.

  5. Joyce says:

    Love the bit about the toddlers. I once beat out a bunch of kids at a game in Circus Circus so I could get a stuffed lion!

  6. saulbee says:

    Right what nobody here has asked is the important question.
    What bread did you try and feed them?
    Those ducks look particularly refined, not the type to eat any old crap, please say that your bread was hand crafted using only traditional methods handed down through a particular province of Giberobia at the very least.

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